A Jewish Divorce Mediator Shares What She Sees Behind Closed Doors
Kosher Money
Living Lchaim
4.9 • 843 Ratings
🗓️ 24 December 2025
⏱️ 84 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We explore one of the most sensitive and least discussed topics in Jewish life: money and marriage.
- Why do so many couples avoid talking about money?
- What do fights about money really represent?
- How can couples build financial trust and literacy before and during marriage?
- What role should community education play in preparing young people for real-world financial responsibility?
We sat down with Sarah Nissel, attorney, Pepperdine law professor, and Executive Director of the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center of LA.
After mediating 300+ divorces, she shares what really makes or breaks relationships when it comes to money, how to communicate without shame, handle conflict, and build marriages that actually last.
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CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro
01:53 Who Is Sarah Nissel?
02:27 Practicing Law in Los Angeles
04:10 A Decade of Experience in Family Law
04:24 What Lawyers See Behind Closed Doors
05:18 The Lack of Financial Education
05:56 When One First Goes to a Divorce Lawyer
07:23 Men vs. Women Divorce Misconceptions
07:42 Tips for a Healthier Marriage
11:45 Advice for Newlyweds
12:56 Improving Conflict Resolution Skills
18:28 How Frum Couples Manage Money
21:07 Why Wives Should Know the Finances
24:20 Twillory
25:33 The Donors Fund
27:52 Modeling Healthy Money Habits
29:34 Being Honest About Debt With Your Spouse
31:32 Understanding Your Appetite for Risk
34:33 How to Guide an Amicable Divorce
37:24 Prenups in the Orthodox Community
40:00 What Sarah Wants Her Children to Know
41:35 When Parents Stop Financial Support
44:14 Separate Bank Accounts
48:35 Setting Up Newlyweds for Financial Success
51:05 BitBean
51:53 Colel Chabad
52:43 It Is Never Too Late
55:58 Starting Financial Education Earlier
59:03 Moving Forward Toward Peace
1:02:39 Amazing Jewish Resources
1:05:52 How Sarah Helps People
1:06:23 You Do Not Need to Recreate the Wheel
1:08:01 Why Sarah Stays Away From AI
1:09:26 Sarah’s Nonprofit Work
1:09:52 Sarah’s Book Recommendations
1:12:36 The Advantages of the Jewish Community
1:14:04 Sarah’s Remarkable Yichus
1:19:26 Thanking Sarah for Joining Us
1:19:49 Outro
- Learn more about Sarah’s organization: https://www.jdacla.org/
- One of Sarah's favorite books, The Anxious Generation: https://amzn.to/4qnGOv
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Kosher Money is the bi-weekly podcast from Living Lchaim, hosted by Eli Langer.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We all need to be less ashamed about talking about money. Every high school should have a financial |
| 0:06.7 | literacy class. Part of chasin and kala classes before people get married. A bride and a groom should |
| 0:13.7 | learn about how to talk about money. In our community, we tend to sell the chuppah as the finish line. And I really think |
| 0:25.8 | it's the starting line. I also see a lot of couples where the man is earning the money, |
| 0:33.9 | the woman is the homekeeper, and also she's managing the money. |
| 0:38.3 | And that's newer. |
| 0:39.7 | I would say that's in the last five years. |
| 0:41.9 | A self-awareness about your relationship with money is very important. |
| 0:47.1 | And I think a lot of us don't realize that until much later in our lives. |
| 0:51.7 | Most people don't talk openly about money in their marriage. |
| 0:54.7 | They talk around it, spending, saving. |
| 0:57.2 | Maybe there's some chatter about investing or budgeting. |
| 0:59.8 | But they're not talking about what money really means to them. |
| 1:03.3 | So how does that affect the marriage, this not talking about it? |
| 1:07.4 | My guest today, Sarah Nissel from Los Angeles, is a divorce mediator who's seen what |
| 1:12.0 | happens when those conversations never happen. She has spent 10 years in the room with couples |
| 1:18.3 | trying to untangle marriage and money, and it turns out people are almost never fighting |
| 1:23.8 | about the dollars. They're fighting about what money represents to them. |
| 1:28.7 | This was a brilliant conversation, albeit a bit heavier than what we're used to in terms of |
| 1:33.0 | a topic, but I learned a lot. Oh, and if this is your first or 10th time here, please subscribe |
| 1:37.6 | to our channel, hit like, drop a comment if you so please. It helps us a lot. Okay, okay, on to the |
| 1:42.9 | episode. Being a Jew, awesome. Managing personal |
... |
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