A father speaks, after the day has passed

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 28 December 2024

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I’ve known some great fathers, my brother Philip for one, my nephews Will and Douglas, my friends Mark and Tony and Sandy and Fred. Patience is one of their virtues, optimism, a willingness to look the other way: in other words, a sense of humor. Had I been a postal clerk or a plumber, I’d’ve maybe been a better father but I got engrossed in show business and for a few years was fairly popular and was gone a lot and they grew up fatherless. They have done pretty well on their own, all three of them, and I claim no credit. It is what it is. But when the National Fatherhood League gathers for its annual banquet and the bestowing of the Papa awards, include me out. Same with Uncles’ Day and Cousins’. But I am working on being better at husbanding, and I think she notices: I get near her and smell sandalwood and chamomile oil and that stuff goes for thousands per ounce. I must be doing something right.

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Transcript

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0:22.8	entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup. A father speaks after the day has passed.
0:56.2	The third Sunday of June is Father's Day, and if you forget that's okay.
1:02.8	We fathers don't expect to be celebrated.
1:06.2	We only want to be forgiven.
1:10.1	Our contribution to creation is rather small, some necking and a few minutes
1:16.2	of pleasure, then we fall asleep. And it's the mother who provides room and board for nine
1:23.0	months and pushes them down the chute and does most of the worrying.
1:29.3	So, Mother's Day in May is a major occasion, while Daddy Day is often overshadowed by National Nanny Day or Cleaning Lady Day. The most prolific father of all time was
1:48.8	surely Solomon, who, according to Scripture, had 700 wives and 300 concubines, which would
1:58.6	surely keep a man well occupied on evenings and weekends.
2:04.0	Just remembering their names and birthdays would take a concerted effort.
2:10.6	And if the song of Solomon is any indication where he says how beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one with all your
2:20.3	delights, how much better is your love than wine and the fragrance of your oils than any spice.
2:29.3	He must have been quite enthusiastic in the bedroom. So it's reasonable to assume he fathered thousands
2:39.0	of children. But in his book of Proverbs, Solomon is not so euphoric. Fatherhood weighs on him. He says, My son, if sinners entice thee, consent
2:56.5	thou not, walk not thou in the way with them. It's a long way from the fragrance of your
3:05.5	oils to consent thou not.
3:09.7	This is a father talking.
	...

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