A Canadian Mormon Story - Ben and Justine Jalaff Pt. 1 | Ep. 2014
Mormon Stories Podcast
Dr. John Dehlin
4.6 • 5.2K Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2025
⏱️ 214 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, Ben and Justine share their powerful and emotional journeys through Mormonism, immigration, family trauma, and healing. They discuss Ben's family's escape from political turmoil, their struggles with loss, and the lure of the Mormon doctrine of eternal families.
Ben faces racial and cultural challenges within the Church, battles self-worth issues, and grapples with the harm purity culture and missionary service caused.
Justine recounts her own upbringing in a strict Mormon household, the pressure of modesty culture, and the way Mormon ideals shaped her relationships and sense of self.
Together, they reflect on how they met, the impact of internalized racism, and their path toward authenticity, healing, and love — even as they confront the pain Mormonism left behind.
This is part 1 of a very special two-part Mormon Stories interview.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I almost used cold inside the temple. |
| 0:02.0 | Because I just... |
| 0:03.0 | So that word cold came to your mind? |
| 0:04.0 | Oh yeah, 100% I'm sitting there like, |
| 0:06.0 | how did I not think this is a cold? |
| 0:08.0 | We're doing this. |
| 0:09.0 | We're doing this signals. |
| 0:11.0 | I walk out and I'm just sitting there like, |
| 0:13.0 | yeah. |
| 0:14.0 | Whoa, that was not on temple prep. |
| 0:18.0 | That was not on temple prep. |
| 0:19.0 | That's the first time. The first time that my true |
| 0:23.0 | self sat there and like, what the hell are you doing here? I think Mormonism, when you're |
| 0:29.2 | raised in a really good loving Mormon home, it is very safe. But then it doesn't prepare you |
| 0:35.2 | for the real world. And I started seeing the harm when I moved away from home and started going to university. |
| 0:41.3 | Right. |
| 0:42.3 | And entered the real world and I wasn't able to make friendships or relationships. |
| 0:48.3 | I think how it harmed me as a young girl is that it made me naive. I would say I also saw my mission as an erasure of myself. |
| 0:58.0 | Yeah. |
| 0:59.0 | Because I just wanted to be obedient. |
| 1:00.0 | Obedient was drilled into us. |
| 1:03.0 | Exact obedience will get you the blessings. |
... |
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