99. Rethinks: How to Handle Challenging Conversations

Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Think Fast Talk Smart

Communicating, Influence, Career Skills, Career, Business, Education, Leadership, Careers, Communication, Career Growth, Public Speaking, Language Learning, Improv

4.7 • 711 Ratings

🗓️ 25 July 2023

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Being a better listener has a lot to do with silence, says Collins Dobbs, a lecturer in management at Stanford Graduate School of Business. “A lot of people are uncomfortable with the smallest modicum of silence, but learning often happens when we create distance for useful reflection.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Dobbs talks with host Matt Abrahams about the importance of “space, pace, and grace” when you’re receiving others’ feedback and handling the emotions that come out during tough discussions.

“There’s often a lot more focus on the skill set on delivering emotion than receiving emotion, but if the receiver of emotion can put themselves in a place of curiosity, agency, and openness … it opens up a whole new world of possibilities.”

Dobbs is an executive coach and teaches several courses, including Interpersonal Dynamics and Leadership Labs.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	We know from research that success isn't just about effort. It's about strategy, accountability, and of course, communication. And yet, when it comes to job transitions, promotions and salary negotiations, most people go it alone. That's where today's sponsor, Strawberry.combeer career coaching, comes in. Kylie, on the Think Fast Talk Smart team met with a strawberry.
0:21.0	dot me coach and found it really helpful. Kylie, how is your coach helping you in terms of
0:26.1	your career growth and personal development? From the very beginning, the whole process has helped
0:30.7	me to really reflect on how I want to move forward and define my goals. And then my coach Rashmi
0:35.8	took my ideas, helped make them tangible,
0:38.8	and suddenly I'm moving forward with actionable steps that I can manage in my life.
0:43.7	Wow. Sounds like your coach was super helpful. Absolutely.
0:47.4	Everyone can take advantage of a career coach. I certainly have throughout my life.
0:51.9	Coaching has been really helpful. Go to strawberry.m.m.
0:55.4	slash smart and claim your $50 credit. That's strawberry.m.m. slash smart.
1:02.4	Hi, Matt here. I've recently found myself at home and at work in some pretty interesting
1:09.7	coaching situations. And I remembered a conversation I had on
1:14.0	this podcast with my friend and colleague Collins Dobbs, where he gave really practical and
1:19.9	tactical advice for giving constructive feedback as a coach and as a mentor. I really liked his notion of connect, then coach, as well as the idea
1:31.6	of pace, space, and grace. Enjoy this conversation from our archive. One thing all managers,
1:42.2	parents, and romantic partners know is that things don't always go the way we want them to,
1:48.1	which means we sometimes have to have challenging conversations with our employees, our children, and our partners.
1:55.8	While never fun, these tough talks can be made easier and more effective.
2:01.9	Hello, I'm Matt Abraham's, and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of
2:07.5	Business.
2:08.3	Welcome to Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.
2:12.7	I am super excited to chat with Collins Doves.
	...

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