Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is officially upon us.

September 25th, Los Angeles, the United Theater.

September 26th, the Moore Theater in Seattle.

And then, thank you, Portland, you're sold out.

But I love you and, you know, there might be a wait list.

But then we got Tucson at the Rialto, October 3rd, the Paramount Theater in Denver, close to sold out, October 4th. DanSoter.com, go there for tickets. Do not go to Google. For the love of God, do not go to Google. Go to DanSoter.com. It's really fun. I'm bringing a lot of very funny people with me on this tour. And I think you guys will have a good time. I really think you do. Myrtle will not be there, but she'll be there in spirit. So, Dan Soder.com for tickets. Golden Tree of Comedy Tour. Happen to now. That was like, and that was, I guess, like, Paul Simon went to school there and Cindy Lauper went to school.

Yeah, Queens has got everybody.

Yeah.

Queens has got a, New York City, because you're from Orlando, right?

Growing up in Florida.

South Carolina, then Orlando.

Yeah, it's always like when you come to, when you're in New York and you hear about everyone that went to the high school of people, you're like, my high school sucked. Yeah, I know, but also like in general, like I grew up like when I was a kid, I would watch Sesame Street, right? Sure. But like, they would always cut away, like, from Sesame Street to those like, those filmed moments that were like all these, like inner city school kids. Sure. You know, like New York accents? Yeah, yeah. You know,

would they'd like i don't know about that girl yeah sounded like a plumber you know those fucking kids were like they like they were like they were picking up like the like the wall street journal and a coffee on their way to school well manhattan kids new york kids i feel like scare the shit out of me. Yeah, they age it five times the rate.

I see them as I'm going, like, in the mornings when I have to do stuff in the city and I see them like going to school, like unattended. Yeah. Just like... Six 11-year-olds that are from New York City will make me very cautious. And it's even worse if they have like a school uniform. Yeah. Because then they really look organized.

Yeah, they're like, I know the Bible.

I know what rules the break. And I'm going to, teenagers in New York City are scarier than teenagers anywhere else. And teenagers everywhere are scary. Everywhere teenagers are scary because they have, they still have child brains. Yeah. And their bodies are blowing up at a rate that they're just like, yeah.

And their, and their,

their ability to take, like, from thought to action is like that. It's like nothing. You know when, um, you know when you turn on a TV and someone has left the volume too high? And it just, that's what a teenager is. It's just like, that's their, embodied spirit. Yeah. Just like their whole life, they're just like,

The volumes coming out.

What was the Stiller movie with, was it Greenberg? Which one? Noah Schwartz movie, the Greenberg where he was like this neurotic guy living in his sister's side. But he had this moment where he just, he's doing drugs with all these, these teenagers and these rich teens. And he's just like, you guys scare the shit out of me. He like one day i'm gonna have to like be up against a job with one of you guys dude they're new york that's why new york kids can start businesses like when you meet people from new york well by the time they're 30 they're like well i had my first business by like 22 it's like well yeah you're also in rehab by the time you're 12 yeah that. That was when I met Manhattan kids when I started waiting tables in New York, you'd meet people would be like, I grew up in the city and you're like, what's that like? And they're like, it's fun. You know, you're doing Coke by 11. Yeah, totally. And you're like, just doing yak and like still watching Power Rangers. Yeah, I was like, that wasn't Orlando.

Ah, well, Orlando is like,

Orlando has its own different kind of,

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