Hey there! Today's episode is hosted by friend of the show, Shira Erlichman.

Hang tight, and I'll be back on October 30th.

I'm Shira Erlichman, and this is the Slowdown.

As a teen, I was a jock and an artist who floated between differing social groups with ease.

I was bubbly and optimistic, but I was also closeted,

pining after my best friend, and constantly troubled by school as an often dehumanizing place.

I regularly felt that I needed to be submissive to adults who didn't seem to care to know me as a person,

but as a piece of paper to address with red pen.

I moved dizzyingly from class to class in a building of 2000 plus people.

High school was probably the most social time of my life,

but loneliness doesn't care about how many people are around you.

To not feel connected, especially when surrounded by so many, is lonely making.

When spring erupted my sophomore year, I felt fully locked inside my unexpressed queerness,

unexpressed love, unexpressed self, and on we had settled inside me,

only a stones throw away from recognizable depression.

There was one place in my life where I felt the difference between being lonely and alone.

It was the art room.

The advanced class started at 8.45 am, but I'd be there at 7.

Even before Miss Sens are offbeat and the spectacle teacher arrived.

Miss Sens was different from the other adults.

She was candid, passionate, and teasing.

Four times a week, she'd allow that I could let myself in and paint undisturbed.

...