Mike O'Mera, Radio Entertainment.

Here's a holiday tip.

Visit Stamps.com and avoid all of that holiday nonsense at your post office.

Stamps.com let you buy and print postage for any letter or package with your own computer

and printer. For a 30-day free trial and $110 bonus offer,

including a digital postal scale and up to $55 in free postage, just go to Stamps.com,

click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in

TMOS. Available on demand every day in iTunes and the Google Play Store and

around the world on Mike O'Mara Show. What more can we do for you?

It's the Michael Maris Show. With the hectic rush rush of the holiday season wouldn't it be nice to just settle down, relax, and allow yourself to enjoy the season?

Well, with this handy and delicious time saver, you'll be relaxing with in-laws and pretending to enjoy yourself in no time at all.

It's Josh the intern's savory asparagus and Benadryl balls.

Yummy.

Start by Remor... What? Yummy. Start by removing all the tissues from a box of Scott brand facial tissues.

Spread them in an even layer on the floor in case you drop something.

That's clever.

Open a jar of age Romanov brand caviar.

Look for the money saving caviar coupon in this month's issue of Modern Dickweed magazine.

And remember, to act like a douche when you give it to the part-time food clerk at your

grocer's store. Spread the fish eggs into a thin layer on the bottom of a

turkey-shaped serving platter. Carefully crack and separate the yolks from the whites of the caviar, using a third

of a tenth of a teaspoon of pantry-pride cream of tartar. Use the whites to make a fish meringue.

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