96 – Horsemen of the Playground
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Jay Edidin & Miles Stokes
4.7 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 15 February 2016
⏱️ 61 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In which we play Evolutionary War Mad-Libs; it’s probably a bad sign when Apocalypse decides you need an intervention; Dani is (briefly) the new Doug; horses are jerks; it’s probably really dangerous to be Longshot; Storm has the coolest friends; the High Evolutionary is very high indeed; and we make a (very token) nod to Valentine’s Day.
X-PLAINED:
- Secret Origins of the High Evolutionary
- Evolutionary War
- The actual history of eugenics in America
- X-Factor Annual #3
- New Mutants Annual #4
- Uncanny X-Men Annual #12
- Classic X-Men #22
- Purifiers (but not those purifiers)
- Stack
- Purge
- How to tell when an event has major psychic repercussions
- A Silver-Age callback
- An Apocalypse-style intervention
- Toga Steve (Val-Or)
- The return of Bulk and Glow Worm
- Equal-opportunity Hellfire lingerie
- Mirage’s power upgrade
- Miles vs. puberty vs. Uncanny X-Men
- The coolest civilization ever
- Colossus’s illegitimate kid
- The cutest sound effect
- Origins of the Scott/Jean/Logan love triangle
- Stuff Jay likes and Miles doesn’t
- The Elle Collins Theory of Podcast Roles
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You okay there, Miles? I don't know man. I just cannot wrap my head around the origins of the high evolutionary. |
| 0:06.1 | That is entirely understandable. In fact, I have actually prepared something in anticipation of precisely this eventuality. |
| 0:13.4 | Really? |
| 0:14.4 | Yeah, see, you know Mad Libs, right? |
| 0:16.3 | Yeah. |
| 0:17.3 | Okay, so we're going to take those rules and we're going to apply them to Marvel continuity. |
| 0:21.3 | Just give me whatever answers you can think of off the top of your head. |
| 0:24.0 | Sure. |
| 0:25.0 | Okay, Comics friendly career. |
| 0:26.0 | Geneticist. |
| 0:27.0 | Bad role model. |
| 0:28.0 | Mr. Sinister. |
| 0:30.0 | Non-human sentence. |
| 0:31.0 | Mutants? |
| 0:32.0 | Oh, mutants are technically human, sorry. |
| 0:34.0 | Okay then, uh, in humans. |
| 0:35.4 | Perfect. |
| 0:36.4 | Location. |
| 0:37.4 | Wonder gore mountain. |
| 0:38.4 | Gonna need another race of non-human sentience. |
| 0:40.7 | Can I go with Moloids? |
| 0:42.1 | Absolutely. We're taking a big tent approach here. |
... |
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