955: Love Sits by My Father

The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

American Public Media

Arts, Performing Arts

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 31 August 2023

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s poem is Love Sits by My Father by Qutouf Elobaid.

The Slowdown is your daily poetry ritual. In this episode, Major writes… “People in love are complicated; no one knows this more than the children, who get a front row seat to how affection plays itself out in the home, or not. Which influences how they interact and understand intimacy operating, or not, around them. Many psychological experts suggest making affection and tenderness appropriately visible in the lives of children. It goes far to ensure emotional stability. What children observe may drive them as adults to positively replicate their parent’s model, attempt to fulfill their parents' lack, or avoid intimacy altogether. A kiss, a hug, any physical expression of fondness is an active possibility of healing that radiates out into the world.”

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm Major Jackson, and this is the slowdown.
0:20.0	I never saw my parents openly display affection for one another.
0:25.2	No smooching at holiday gatherings, not even a New Year's kiss, no cutling in front
0:30.8	of the TV, and definitely no nose rubbing before taking off to work.
0:37.0	I'm sure they intertwined fingers at some point in held hands, but never in front of family.
0:43.4	It was like growing up in a house without plants or pets.
0:48.9	I know they loved each other.
0:51.0	Their sheer tolerance of the other's irritation at one thing or another, and occasional arguments
0:56.6	followed by joking banter were evident enough.
1:00.6	Still, I found their seemingly loveless union inscrutable.
1:06.2	I think it explains why I rubber neck whenever I see a couple kiss on a park bench or at
1:12.4	a table in a jazz club, or like that time at the Wahakan Archaeological site of Monte
1:18.3	Alban.
1:20.0	In the center of the pyramids built by the Zapotecs, I witnessed a fashionable couple
1:24.9	kissing for five minutes in the open air of the Great Plaza as tourists walk by them.
1:31.4	My parents' worst nightmare.
1:34.5	People in love are complicated.
1:36.7	No one knows this more than the children who get a front row seat to how affection plays
1:41.6	itself out in the home or not, which influences how they interact and understand intimacy
1:49.0	operating or not around them.
1:53.0	Many psychological experts suggest making affection and tenderness appropriately visible in
1:59.7	the lives of children.
	...

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