#95 - Senator Chuck Ghastly

Lewis Black's Rantcast

Lewis Black

Stand-up, Leisure, Comedy

4.7 • 843 Ratings

🗓️ 24 August 2022

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The people have spoken, and the rubber chicken has been given a reprieve from being retired back to the annals of comedy history. He lives! She lives!! They live!!! (We will reserve questions about the gender of the rubber chicken for another time.) Much like our rubberized feathered-friend, another public figure with links to the Jazz Age is going back to the people to get their vote. In this case it is sitting Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA), who, if re-elected would be 96 years old at the end of his next term. While that would make Sen. Grassley decidedly on the old side of elderly, it would still put him several years shy of Lewis’s mom Jeannette, who will turn 104 in a couple of weeks. Lewis paid a visit to his mom this past week, and though her stories of teaching immigrants may have been a conflation of past events, or possibly fiction, they are still more coherent than Sen. Grassley’s incomprehensible interpretation of the $80 billion going to the IRS. It’s OK to make things up if you are 104 and have no responsibilities. Not so much if you are one of the longest-serving politicians in Washington. On the conundrum front, Democrats have somehow become the defenders of the FBI (historically one of the most conservative parts of the executive branch), the former leader has seemingly found a way to defy all laws of physics and jurisprudence (he may be a hologram), and on a much more somber note, a judge in Florida determined that a pregnant sixteen-year-old is mature enough to be a parent, but not mature enough to decide whether to proceed with the pregnancy or have an abortion. And after years of being underpaid and underappreciated, the teachers of America have had enough. It was bad enough for them when all they had to deal with was bratty kids and over-involved parents. Now it’s all book banning, not teaching history, and dealing with school boards comprised of fellow citizens determined to impose their warped reality on the general public. The rants this week include submissions about abortions, gun violence, and the descent of the United States into lawless chaos. Also addressed are serious topics like customer service phone options and Dodge Ram pickup trucks. Plus, an FBI-related top ten list. Want to see Lewis live? Tickets are available here: https://www.lewisblack.com/tickets Check out Lewis’ Grammy-nominated special, Thanks For Risking Your Life https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS https://www.lewisblack.com/live SUBSCRIBE TO THE RANTCAST https://www.lewisblacksrantcast.com FOLLOW LEWIS www.lewisblack.com www.youtube.com/officiallewisblack www.instagram.com/thelewisblack www.facebook.com/thelewisblack www.twitter.com/thelewisblack www.tiktok.com/@thelewisblack New episodes arrive every Wednesday. For advertising opportunities/contact email: rantcast@thesyn.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	And the rubber chicken says... Ha ha ha ha thank all of you who voted to keep me on the
0:29.2	Randcast. I certainly wouldn't have voted to do that, but what do I know? I'm just a rubber
0:35.1	chicken. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. No, and the reason I know why you
0:39.6	do, no, let me explain to you the reason I know that you didn't want to vote for yourself
0:43.2	is because you don't feel like working. Yes, you don't feel like working. I know you feel like
0:48.1	running for office, but you can't run for office unless you got a platform. So you're going to have to just shut up for now because we've got to get on, my friend. And I am glad they voted for you too because I did not want to be down here
0:58.2	alone. I appreciate you and all that you do. I've got to get on, my friend, with Rantcast number 95,
1:05.5	Lewis Flacks Randcast, number 95 entitled Senator Chuck Gassley.
1:11.4	That's right.
1:12.7	That's Chuck Grassley, and it's the new name I've given him, so that I have a title for my podcast.
1:19.6	And I call him that because, first of at the age of 89, he's going to run for office again.
1:25.3	Okay, he's running for the Senate again.
1:27.0	Do we need senators who have moved into that age category,
1:31.4	especially senators that I will get to a statement he made this week,
1:36.5	and I think that disqualifies it.
1:39.3	But the good news is that maybe we do have a third party,
1:42.5	the Dinosaur Party, Republicans, Democrats,
1:45.1	and then those who are over the age of 85, maybe 80. I don't know. Maybe we can vote on that.
1:50.7	But occasionally, you've got to say no. And I think 89 is kind of an emergency, emergency. Nope.
2:00.7	Let's get back to Iowa and talk to the people,
2:04.2	teach a class, wandered from high school, maybe get a job teaching as we run out of teachers,
2:11.1	Chuck, that would help because we certainly don't need you in the Senate at this point.
	...

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