#95: Kids Who Can Name Their Feelings

Famous at Home

Josh + Christi Straub

Parenting, Relationships, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Kids & Family

4.9 • 653 Ratings

🗓️ 20 February 2019

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Teaching our kids to give their feeling a name and then decide what to do with it—is crucial to helping them love God and love others. Turns out, it's also helpful for juvenile delinquents to develop empathy, and for our kids to one day be successful at major companies like Google.

In this episode, we talk about these scenarios and why developing emotional awareness is so important for our kids. As it relates to spiritual growth, this is also where emotional and spiritual maturity go hand-in-hand: the lived out fruit of self-control (Galatians 5:23).

But it all starts with us as parents. Being emotionally safe with our kids provides calm to the fear center of their brain. The calmer our kids are in emotionally overwhelming situations, the more likely they are to think straight and make wise decisions.

And that’s our privilege as parents—to help our kids learn to name their feeling, make good decisions with that emotion, and begin to think about others. That's what this episode is all about.

Show Notes:

Start feeling better today by ordering What Am I Feeling? Click here to order.

You can also click here to learn about Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well.

For a link to the Google study mentioned in the podcast, click here.

For more insights into the circle of security, click here.

For John Bradshaw's book Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, click here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	A child doesn't know what fear is.
0:02.9	They only know what it feels like in their own body.
0:06.4	That same example, when Landon was so afraid to go to school, I can't say, buddy, how are you doing?
0:11.8	Like, how are you feeling?
0:13.1	He doesn't know an answer to that question.
0:16.0	Good, fine, which are not feelings, but they don't know how to answer.
0:20.8	So I'm like, what does it feel like?
0:22.6	What do you feel like right now? And his word or his word picture was, I feel flippy in my tummy.
0:33.3	And I thought that is phenomenal. That's fear.
0:50.3	You're listening to the In This Together podcast with Dr. Josh and Christy Straub, a podcast dedicated to helping you live, love, and lead well as a spouse, a parent, and a human being.
0:56.0	Because no matter where you're at on your journey, you're not alone. We're in this together.
1:04.5	Welcome back to the In This Together podcast. Today we're talking about probably one of the things nearest and dearest to our hearts and especially prevalent as we're raising kids feelings and being able to talk about them, name
1:14.8	them. I think often so many of us have lived in homes where feelings were either dismissed
1:21.3	or punished or maybe just not talked about at all. But research has found again and again and again one of the most important
1:29.6	building blocks to emotional intelligence and success later in life is being able to name
1:36.7	what you're feeling, to know what you're feeling, why you're feeling it. And then to also recognize
1:44.1	so often we label emotions as good or bad,
1:47.8	happy, sad, sad being a bad emotion or anger being a bad emotion. But a feeling is just a feeling.
1:56.0	And we really want to talk about this because we believe this is probably number one in importance
2:03.9	in teaching our kids so they can walk into life, balanced, stable, able to handle the big
2:12.6	emotions that they're going to feel in little bodies.
2:15.1	And that's exactly right.
	...

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