94: My Clingy Teen Hates Going to School. How Do I Help?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 15 November 2022

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent writes in asking for help for their teen who feels intensely anxious about going to school and interacting with adults outside the home. Dr. Lisa explains that the need to stay close to home during the height of the pandemic has made it hard for many young people to spread their wings now. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the root causes of clinginess and separation anxiety and how those causes can differ depending on a child's age. Their conversation addresses what adults can do now to help young people understand anxiety, get the upper hand on their nerves, and find their way back into the world. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNina Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.
0:10.0	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:17.0	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:24.2	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.
0:28.2	Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.
0:33.1	So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.
0:37.2	Episode 94, my clingy teen hates going to school. How do I help?
0:42.3	I know we talk a lot about anxiety, but I feel like it's everywhere. I feel like sometimes even I have it as we're re-emerging back to our old ways.
0:53.9	And I find myself not wanting to leave my home sometimes, you know, because I've become so back to our old ways.
0:58.3	And I find myself not wanting to leave my home sometimes, you know, because I've become so used to it.
0:58.7	And you always say, Lisa, that I'm such an extrovert.
1:01.4	So if I am having trouble dealing with that, I can't imagine how everyone else is doing
1:07.2	and coping.
1:08.0	But no, it's true.
1:09.5	You know, and I think sometimes if you read the headlines,
1:11.2	you're like, I think I just want to go pull the covers over my head, right, and stay home today.
1:16.0	Totally. And I have a lot of empathy for that perspective. I don't want to separate from my home,
1:23.0	but some people don't want to separate from their parents. And it's interesting, we got this letter
1:28.2	about a teen who might be suffering from separation anxiety. I want to get you to weigh in on this.
1:32.2	It says, Dear Dr. Lisa, my 15-year-old daughter has separation anxiety. She loves being with me and her
1:37.9	mom and hates going to school. I work from home, and so she is constantly asking to be
1:42.5	homeschooled. But my sense is that would only make the situation worse. While she does get herself to school each day, she still struggles
	...

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