931. Why Am I Respected At Work But Not At Home? | Ask Paul Tripp
The Paul Tripp Podcast
Paul Tripp Ministries, Inc.
5 • 723 Ratings
🗓️ 12 September 2025
⏱️ 17 minutes
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Summary
Today’s question comes from a counselor who is working with a husband wrestling with this tension: ‘I’m respected and affirmed at work, but at home I feel unseen and disrespected. Which version of me is true?’”
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm respected at work, but not at home. This is a complaint that Aaron, who is a counselor, |
| 0:09.3 | has heard recently from two of his clients. Here's the context. I'm counseling two middle-aged |
| 0:14.8 | Christian husbands with marital problems, and in both cases the men say this. When I'm at work, |
| 0:20.0 | my colleagues and managers have nothing but amazing things to say about my leadership gifts and the way I relate to my coworkers. |
| 0:26.2 | I have earned tremendous respect in the workplace and am praised for my competence and skills and success. |
| 0:31.9 | But when I get home, the opposite is true. |
| 0:34.2 | My wife and kids don't recognize my success and skill. |
| 0:39.2 | I feel disrespected and especially made to feel less than or inadequate and lacking in the home. So, which is it? Why do I get so |
| 0:45.0 | much respect and appreciation in one arena and not in the other? Well, I want to start with a |
| 0:50.9 | quasi-humorous but actually serious response. You get all that respect at work |
| 0:58.7 | because the people don't actually know you. They just don't know you. They don't know you in |
| 1:04.9 | your worst moments. They don't know you when you get up in the morning and you're cranky. |
| 1:08.6 | They don't know you when you're exhausted at night and you wish you didn't really have children. They don't know you when you're exhausted at night and |
| 1:11.0 | you wish you didn't really have children. They don't know you when your wife disagrees with you |
| 1:15.9 | and you know you're right and you think she's stupid and you just want to make sure that you win |
| 1:22.1 | the argument. They don't know you when you're sick and you wish your family could, you could ship off your family somewhere so you could just be by yourself. They don't know you when you're sick and you wish your family could ship off your family somewhere so you could just be by yourself. |
| 1:31.3 | They don't know you when you get a bill and you weren't expecting it and you think that God doesn't really care for you. |
| 1:40.3 | They don't know you. |
| 1:42.8 | And so you have to be very, very careful with how people who don't know you |
| 1:50.7 | define who you are. Because that's just not a valid definition of who any of us are. |
| 1:59.6 | All the people that work with me, love me, but they don't have to live with me. |
| 2:07.6 | And if they did, they would have a whole new definition of who Paul Tripp is. People who read my |
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