90: U-Hauling Your Meat Wagon

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.8 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 7 October 2020

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Trevor and Michael get science-y in this one. They riff on the idea that hats are just makeup for guys, which cars got ass, and how Michael went on an actual real date. They also discuss lot lizards and grade school love potions. Tour De Science.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You went in a fucking public port.
0:03.7	I'm in, we're in.
0:05.5	Fucking not off the heel of a goddamn gargoyle.
0:11.3	People don't understand that you can just,
0:15.0	you go to the courthouse and you say,
0:16.5	hey, my name is Randall, sucks, right?
0:20.2	And everyone goes, yeah.
0:21.8	Or you pull the audible and go by your middle name.
0:23.5	You have two names.
0:24.8	That's true. You have two names.
0:26.1	Also, you don't even have two names.
0:28.3	You don't even have to choose a name in your name.
0:31.8	You can be like, I'm Scorpion now.
0:33.9	My name is Scorpion.
0:34.9	Yeah.
0:35.9	Hey, Scorpion.
0:37.3	I literally know somebody he goes by chief.
0:39.6	And I'm like, I don't like it.
0:40.5	Is the government name like, not?
0:42.8	It's just chief.
0:44.0	But after a certain age.
0:45.4	Is he named American?
	...

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