9 – Leprechaun Surprise Party
Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men
Jay Edidin & Miles Stokes
4.7 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 8 June 2014
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In which Rachel refuses to back down from a challenge, we reject a point of canon, Leprechauns know Wolverine’s secrets, Erik the Red is (still) awful, Professor X is (still) a dick, the X-Men are your D&D party, the Shi’ar do a Star Trek riff, Phoenix is kind of a big deal, the circus comes to town, and Magneto gets creepy.
X-Plained:
- Cassandra Nova
- More early Claremont
- Sound effects
- Cassidy Keep
- Seneschals
- Shillelaghs
- Image inducers
- Black Tom Cassidy
- Supervillain bromance
- Bronze-age pacing
- Leprechauns
- Hovercraft rental
- Muir Island
- The Shi’ar Imperial Guard
- The M’Kraan Cyrstal
- Phoenix 101
- Secret volcano lairs
- Magneto’s mercifully short-lived age-play fixation
- The (dis)continuity of mutant powers
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Next week: Wolverine punches a pterosaur, Cyclops grows a mustache, and everyone gets possessed!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey Rachel, remember Lelandra, Professor X's Spacebird Girlfriend? |
| 0:03.1 | Miles, everyone remembers Lelandra. They were together for like 30 years. |
| 0:06.4 | Wait, they're not still together? |
| 0:07.8 | Dude, first of all, she's dead and shockingly there are lines even Xavier won't cross. |
| 0:11.6 | But that's not even relevant because they |
| 0:13.6 | actually split up during the Morrison run. Was that a Cassandra Nova |
| 0:16.6 | thing? Do you really think you can explain Cassandra Nova in a cold open? |
| 0:20.1 | Is that a challenge? |
| 0:22.1 | Fuck. |
| 0:23.0 | Okay, so, Cassandra Nova is a moom dry, Professor X's evil disembodied psychic twin. |
| 0:28.0 | While they were gestating, she tried to clone herself a body based on his, but fetus X strangled her so she was born as nothing but a malevolent consciousness. |
| 0:33.4 | Oh God, what horror have I unleashed? |
| 0:36.1 | I'm so sorry, listeners. |
| 0:37.8 | Decades later, Cassandra managed to produce an adult body which she used to unleash the |
| 0:40.6 | Sentinels on Genosha, decimating the mutant population, |
| 0:42.8 | then made her way back to the Xavier School, switched bodies with Professor X without anyone |
| 0:45.8 | knowing, leaving him trapped in her body whose vocal cords Wolverine had severed. |
| 0:48.8 | Disguises X, she first out of the Institute as a school for mutants, then went off into space, broke a londra's mind, and generally beat the hell out of the entire as a school for mutants then went off into space, broke Londra's mind and generally beat the hell out of the entire Shia Empire. |
| 0:55.1 | And that's when they broke up. |
| 0:57.1 | Nah, a while later, Laundra came back to Earth and tried to assassinate Professor |
| 1:00.3 | X under the assumption that he was still possessed at which point the sh officially annulled their sort of marriage. Was he still possessed? |
| 1:05.6 | No, by then the X-Men had stuck Cassandra Nova's consciousness into this |
... |
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