9: How to Land Positive Feedback

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Careers, Business, Management

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2011

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Weddings are an interesting place to watch people give positive feedback to others. I give a few examples.

The problem with feedback is that intentions are good, but that sometimes feedback still comes out awkward…sometimes it would have been better if the person said nothing at all.

I share a story about someone who heard “good job” just one too many times.

Here’s the model you want to use:
ATTRIBUTE-EXAMPLE-THANK

An example of it in action:
“Helen, I appreciate how much diligence you brought to this project. Just two weeks ago, I remember you telling me that one of our vendors was very concerned about being able to make our final deadline. I noticed that you had two conference calls with them and worked late one evening last week to help get them back on track and ensure that both they and our campus looked good in the end. Thank you for putting forth the diligence to bring this project to a very successful close.”

You’re done – don’t go further than the above.

Who could use feedback from you on a job well done this week? I challenge you to take action both professionally and personally.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi everyone you're listening to coaching skills for leaders this is episode number nine recorded on
0:04.9	October 16th 2011 produced by innovate learning
0:10.6	maximizing human potential.
0:13.0	Welcome to coaching skills for leaders.
0:18.0	My name is Dave Stahovia.
0:22.0	This is the show for leaders who want to develop
0:24.8	their coaching skills so they can influence the success of others, their organization,
0:29.5	and themselves. Whether you're a season leader or you're leading people for the first time,
0:34.0	improving your coaching skills will help drive your success and most importantly the success of others.
0:40.0	This week's topic is giving positive feedback to others. This week's topic is giving positive feedback to others. I was at a wedding just this past weekend
0:48.5	and weddings are such an interesting place to observe people's behavior in the world for a whole bunch of reasons for as you
0:57.4	know for those of you have been to many weddings in the past and one of the more interesting
1:01.7	phenomenon of weddings is the amount of time and effort that goes into planning the toast.
1:09.0	And if you've ever given a toast at a wedding, you know that it comes with a lot of social expectation
1:16.2	and obligation and I at this particular wedding I was at a week ago the The people who were doing the toast did a fairly good job overall
1:26.4	actually better than I've seen in many cases at many weddings in the past. That said,
1:32.1	they went on and on and on and they were pretty lengthy and that's actually fairly common for most weddings.
1:40.0	It's such an interesting place to watch people give positive feedback to others.
1:44.8	Because of course in many cases people are very nervous.
1:47.8	They haven't had a lot of speaking experience.
1:49.8	And there's a lot of expectation on to say something really nice and important on an important day to two people and in many cases more than two people in a large family.
2:00.0	And so what tends to happen is when you go to a wedding is somebody more often than not
	...

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