Thanks to Canva for sponsoring the illusionist. In the 10 years since Canva began, it has

grown to offer services in over 100 languages. And Canva is freemium, so there is plenty available

for zero pounds, including free libraries of video, audio, graphics, and their amazing

tools, magic write, and magic design, which use AI to help you with your first drafts,

get you through the creative block, whew, because it's easier to start from something than

from a blank page. I put in a few writing prompts and, well, if Canva learns to speak, I think

I can just hand over hosting this show to it entirely. Also, if you and your colleagues

are working together, your human colleagues, that is, you can design and collaborate with

Canva for teams. Right now, you can get a free 45 day extended trial when you go to Canva.me-illusionist.

This is the illusionist in which I, Helen Zoltzmann, leave a flaming paper bag full of language

on your doorstep. Coming up in today's show are feats of speed and endurance, albeit

ones which don't require getting up out of a chair. There is one swear word in this episode,

see if you can spot it. On with the show!

Recorded live at the Hot Dox Podcast Festival in Toronto in November 2018, performed by

me and Martin Orstwick, this is the story of champions, typing champions, one of which

I am not. I can type it, 71 words a minute. Yeah, it's a good speed when you go to a

10-ping agency and they are like, brilliant, we can get you some minimum wage jobs. But

a bit some of you can type faster. Do I hear 85? 90? Do I have any over 100s? What do you

got? 104? Do we have anything to be 104? 122? Who goes higher than 122? No one. Oh, well,

I'm sorry, because 122 is impressive in this room, but I went to the website typeracer.com

and you can see that this guy, er, is on 291 words per minute. 291 words a minute.

291 words per minute. That is not an official typing record though. Guinness World Record adjudicators

...