This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

Episode 88, how do I get my son to give up pot? All right, so some people might be feeling a little bit of the pressure.

Schools in full swing now.

Yep, yep, no, we are hopefully feeling settled into these routines.

You know, it's never easy, but it's always,

you know, it's always nice when they do really take hold. Yeah. There's always, for parents who might

be feeling it, sometimes some unexpected little things thrown your way that you're trying to

navigate. One of these, the letter we got stood out about drug use, pot use. I want to read it to you. It says,

Dear Dr. Lisa and Rina, last fall, my 15-year-old son was put on probation for smoking pot in his high school

bathroom. He seemed to take the consequences seriously. His school does random drug testing,

so he knows that if he tested positive, he would be kicked out of school. He recently passed a random drug test

to my great relief. Then last night, I caught him smoking in his bedroom. I feel as though I've

tried every method to reach him and express the risks of this path that he's starting on.

I've talked to him about brain cells. I've talked to him about being an example for his younger

brother. I've talked to him about his amazing personality that most kids would kill for. I ask him

about his stress and anxiety, and if this is the cause of his experimentation, I don't want to

scream at him because I know it does nothing. But what can I do to reach him? Oh my gosh, I love this letter on so

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