This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

Episode 87, do I really have to send my tween to sleepovers?

There's one thing that I just refuse to do, and it's sleepovers.

Because you know what?

They call them weekovers because the hangover lasts for a week. Okay, so I hate sleepovers too,

Rina. We've never had this conversation, but like, okay, true confessions, we both hate

sleepovers. And I hate them for the exact same reason. Nobody sleeps. And then your kid's a big

mess. And then you're dealing with the aftermath of that. Yeah. So we got this letter from a mom. It was really interesting. I want to read it too. It says,

Dear Lisa and Rina, I'm so grateful for your podcast, it seems every time a new episode comes out,

the topic is just what I need to hear. I have a question about sleepovers. My daughter is a tween and is getting invited to sleepovers, usually for a birthday party or special occasion. Aside from a

good family friend, we have taken the no sleepover approach.

My instinct, as a parent, tells me, that the risk and worries of sleepovers are greater than

the benefits.

I am uncomfortable with my child being someplace overnight where I don't know the environment,

or in some cases I do, and it's not where I want my child.

I worry about safety, then being in a

situation where they feel stuck until the morning. I feel bad saying no and my kids miss out on

...