I'm at least felt like I was capable of doing everything I wanted.

And not to sound cocky, I think this is probably true for everyone, but I am capable of doing everything that I want to do no matter what

skill it might be I still think that that's true but something that growing up has led to is the

realization that there's a huge massive difference between being capable and

being good of doing good, of being capable of doing something and gaining the skill

and actually being capable of becoming a really high performer in that space or one of the best

in that field and that crap. Something that I think probably everyone listening to this could can relate to,

I find myself seeing others performing at a high level at a task, something like drawing or painting or music or other forms of art or coding or design, whatever it might be.

I see others performing at a really, really high level and I just like see myself drawn to them so deeply drawn to the idea of doing this thing so deeply so deeply so like fully that I have to I have to try have to dive down the rabbit hole

give it a shot and see if this is something I can perform at and I'm usually really

excited by this I'm usually really excited by this. I'm usually really excited by the

process of learning this new skill and figuring out what I can do with it and

where the boundaries are and just diving into it.

But the cycle is always the same because eventually I lose interest.

I lose interest and then I see the next craft or thing that I'm really attracted to and I feel the same level of being drawn to it and I just kind of stop doing the last thing.

Maybe I've gotten pretty decent at it,

maybe I've gotten better than average at it.

It becomes another skill that I know I can deploy if needed.

It becomes something that I better understand about the world

and can pull on for future projects.

But I pretty much never revisit it as like a thing I'm going to pursue.

And I find myself wondering why does this happen?

...