856: Family Ties - Laurie, Doug, Julie, and Jerry's Mormon Faith Crisis/Transition Pt. 5

Mormon Stories Podcast

Dr. John Dehlin

Religion & Spirituality

4.5 • 5.7K Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2018

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this special episode of Mormon Stories, we travel to Southern California to interview 2 couples—Doug & Laurie and Jerry & Julie about their Mormon faith crisis and transition. The couples are connected in that Laurie and Julie are sisters, and Doug and Jerry served in the same LDS mission together.

This is a super fascinating story in that each grew up as faithful, orthodox Mormons and both couples were living what they considered to be the "Mormon dream" until Doug began to have a faith crisis that he endured silently for years. Suffering alone and feeling unable to share his doubts with anyone, he finally opened up to his wife Laurie and they carefully navigated a mixed-faith marriage for some time. Seeking support, Doug and Laurie reached out to Jerry and Julie to share their questions and struggles and we learn how each began a faith journey they did not expect.

Important topics we cover:

What the Church meant to each as they were in it
What caused them to doubt and question
What was hard and difficult about the faith crisis
The mistakes and successes they discovered while navigating their faith crisis
How they shared their faith crisis with their children
How they "came out" about their beliefs to others, including ward members and leaders
How they have begun to forge a new life

This interview is a first of many this year that will highlight what John calls "The Gift of the Mormon Faith Crisis." More information for this 2018 initiative can be found at http://www.mormonfaithcrisis.com

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Part 1: Each provide their Mormon background

Part 2: Doug is the first to have a faith crisis, which has ripple effects to Laurie, Julie, and Jerry

Part 3: Laurie, Doug, and Julie share how cracks developed in their faith

Part 4: Each tackle the tough topic of sharing their faith crisis with their children

Part 5: Each discuss "coming out" about their beliefs to others

Part 6: Each discuss the hard, yet rewarding task of forging a new life

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Transcript

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0:30.0	Thanks for your support.
0:32.0	So Doug and Laurie, anything you want to add about talking to Bishops and the State Presidents?
0:50.0	Yes, we had a completely different situation.
0:53.0	While we were going through all of this, my company had wanted me to move to Seattle for quite some time.
1:03.0	We had always told my company that, look, I've got kids in high school, I don't want to do that to them.
1:12.0	But it had been going on for years that I had been putting this off.
1:17.0	And so Laurie and I were just sitting there in the fall of 2015, right after we told our kids and we're like, you know, do we want to stay living in Utah?
1:28.0	And we started doing our research, talking to other people who had left the church, getting in contact with people who we had known who had left the church and talking with them about their experience.
1:39.0	You know, A, it would be good for my career and make my company happy if I moved.
1:46.0	So that was a positive, right?
1:48.0	And B, as we sat and talked with people, we just kind of realized most of the people who stayed living there were born and raised there, which we had not been.
1:59.0	Their families were there.
2:01.0	We had no family.
2:02.0	We did not. It was, it was home to them, right? And so the Pacific Northwest was home to us.
2:10.0	So, you know, we, we decided that we would finally let my company know that we were willing to move to Seattle. And so right about the same time that Laurie's getting on board and we're talking to the kids, we're making this decision.
2:27.0	And I had stopped slowly going to like priesthood because once I told Laurie, I felt like a weightlifter who just hit his last rep.
2:36.0	I just could not go to church anymore. It felt like people were just kicking me in the brain when I sat there.
2:43.0	And so I slowly stopped going to priesthood.
2:47.0	He'd go to saccharmy meeting.
	...

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