Today's episode is guest hosted by the poet Jason Schneiderman.

Don't worry, I'll be back in your feeds on March 27th.

I am Jason Schneiderman, and this is the slowdown.

I have always felt a little guilty about not being happier to be alive.

I know that my existence is stunningly unlikely on scales both big and small.

Out of the vastness of the universe, I came into being on this habitable planet where we have

beautiful trees, comfortable sweaters, and really good coffee.

Out of every place on the globe, I was born in a relatively prosperous place

to a relatively prosperous set of parents who said things like,

if people are mean to you, it means they're jealous.

And don't go into debt for a fancy college.

Even if you do the math on my parents alone, my existence is still stunningly improbable.

Out of the hundreds of thousands of eggs and the millions of sperm my parents brought to their union,

I'm the product of just two microscopic lottery winners, which makes my existence a prize.

Still, being unlikely doesn't exactly add up to being excited about being alive.

I wish I woke up every morning to the thrill of a new day, eagerly hopping in the shower and

embracing another chance to be in the world. The truth is that most mornings I stay in bed as late

as I can, wishing I never had to get out from under the covers. The Russian poet Osset Mandelstom

wrote, I love this poor earth because I have never seen another, which I find both beautiful

and confusing. Is he saying love means focusing on what is right in front of you or something else?

I'm always looking for people who don't want to retreat from the world, but to charge into it

with gusto and love. I want to learn their secret. Today's poet helps me learn. She meditates

...