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The Terri Cole Show

833 Why High Functioning Women Don't Know What Their Needs Are, and How to Identify Them

The Terri Cole Show

Terri Cole

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.91.5K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do you know what you need? Not what your kids need, or what your partner needs, or what your team at work needs. What you need.

In my therapy practice, when I ask high-functioning women what they need for the coming week, many of them either freeze or hand me a list of responsibilities. Things they have to get done. These things are not the same thing.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/833

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Jerry Cole Show. And I want to start with a question,

0:06.2

do you know what your needs are? Right? This sounds simple, but it's actually at the root of so

0:13.9

much burnout, resentment, and disconnection. Do you know what your needs are?

0:26.6

So in today's episode, we're going to be talking about how you can figure it out and walking you through the process.

0:35.6

But we're going to be specifically talking about what happens when your needs, as a high functioning codependent or a high functioning person, go unmet.

0:39.9

Because it's super common that that happens because we're people who are competent and capable and reliable. Everyone counts on us, right? So there's a really good

0:45.9

chance that you might be excellent at meeting other people's needs and disconnected from your own.

0:53.5

So today I'm walking you through how to reconnect with your

0:56.0

needs using a framework that I created and how to start honoring them in a way that is actually

1:01.0

doable in your real life. So before we get into it, I want to say thank you for being here.

1:06.3

I super appreciate you. If you want to support the show, it helps me so much if you rate

1:10.3

review and subscribe an Apple podcast. I want to say thank you to Jen Tree H for this five-store

1:15.4

review, life-changing podcast. I first discovered Terry as a guest speaker on the Don't Keep

1:20.4

Your Day Job podcast, and I had to learn more from this incredibly wise woman. I was delighted to

1:25.2

find her podcast and have been an avid listener ever since.

1:28.1

Hearing about high functioning codependency changed my life and allowed me to start calling myself in

1:32.7

for that behavior. For the longest time, I was letting other people's problems determine my

1:37.2

urgency around what I prioritize. Now when I catch myself doing this, I know I have tools and

1:42.4

support to rewire this habit. Thank you, Terry,

1:45.0

for all of your incredible free materials. I burnt out hard after seven years in a nonprofit

1:50.2

crisis center, and this is helping me heal my heart as I try to figure out my next steps forward

1:55.4

to a healthier job. Well, thank you so much, Gentry H for that five-star review. I really appreciate you taking the time.

...

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