83. “I grew up on food stamps. At 24, I’m about to get paid $215,000 per year”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 21 February 2023

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Megan and Nyles are in their twenties and on a great trajectory with their money. She graduates from law school this year—sending her income from $0 to $215,000 overnight. But they’re both haunted by childhoods spent in poverty, leading to toxic scripts and trust issues. Connect with Ramit Get Money Coaching with Ramit Download the Conscious Spending Plan Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube This episode is brought to you by: LMNT | Right now LMNT is offering my listeners a free sample pack with any purchase. That’s 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors or share LMNT with a salty friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/RAMIT. Sakara | Sakara is offering our listeners 20% off their first order when they go to Sakara.com/RAMIT or enter code RAMIT at checkout. If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I feel like he's a little stingy oh he's not stingy towards me if I ask but his attitude
0:09.4	generally makes me feel that if I shouldn't ask I don't feel like the money that I have
0:15.3	for myself even the money that I earn I don't feel like it's mine I feel like it's Niles
0:19.9	to give to me if Niles just agrees to something that I propose I don't feel like he wanted
0:24.6	it I feel like he's just giving in to me which makes me feel like even more of an asker
0:30.7	and after talking now what do you recognize about that pattern what are you doing when you go down
0:35.6	that path I'm avoiding the money getting rid of it as fast as I can not learning any valuable
0:43.2	skills I want to learn how to advocate for myself better and not resent Niles who I feel like
0:52.4	is just losing with any choice that he makes Megan you need to be able to ask for what you want
0:58.9	when it comes to your money he's not going to read your mind how does that strike you that strikes
1:04.7	me as true and uncomfortable to think about Megan is 24 Niles is 28 and their lives are about to
1:18.6	completely change until now Megan has been a student earning almost no money anything she earned
1:25.1	she gave to Niles who would save it for her in part because she admits she used to be
1:30.7	irresponsible with money and also in part because she doesn't even trust her own financial
1:36.1	judgment but now she's about to start earning more a lot more even more than Niles makes
1:43.3	she's finding it hard to even believe it and it's starting to cause issues in their relationship
1:49.3	now this is an answer Niles provided during their application process I want to read it to
1:53.5	really quickly he wrote the women in Megan's family are either not financially healthy or do not
2:00.5	work and Megan is worried about becoming powerless despite earning a high income I'd like to encourage
2:07.9	you to listen to this and also to watch it on YouTube where you can see their body language
2:13.6	and facial expressions just go to YouTube search for Rameet sat and follow my channel there to get
2:19.5	all podcasts in full episodes on video this is I will teach you to be rich and I'm Rameet sati
	...

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