820 - Scarfs Toboggan
A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
Tom Vann & Dan Dennis
4.8 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 24 April 2025
⏱️ 117 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
• Promo for Bart Merrick and Crystal Van as realtors
• Melissa shares positive experience buying a home
• Friday Free Show recorded a day early
• Tom going to New York City to see Ricky Gervais
• Ross joins and jokes about cereal commercials disappearing
• Discussion about kids’ cereal and Dan feeding his kids eggs
• Talk about NYC homeless and rare types like “bird homeless”
• Dan recalls Seattle man eating a bird head
• Listeners send NYC tips and critiques
• Debate over real NY-style pizza and the “it’s the water” myth
• Mario Batali’s machine-made NY water and related jokes
• Argument that NY pizza can be replicated outside the city
• Plans to report back on NYC trip on Tuesday BDM show
• Airline “skip lagging” loophole explained
• Debate over ethics of skipping final flight legs
• Mention of Delta engine fire in Orlando seen by BDM Suzette
• Idea to use inflatable airline slides for a BDM event
• Real slides cost $20k; joke about duct-taping dollar store rafts
• Tangent on shooting ranges and pressure training
• Ross jokes about underwear defense from intruders
• Song break: “Marked Different” by local band Virginity
• Promo for Pinball Dudes and their rotating pinball machines
• Discussion on pinball as mechanical art
• Mention of King Kong and Foo Fighters machines in studio
• Talk about Kanye West’s odd public confessions
• Tom’s son requests Oculus as reward, gets older version
• Concerns over Roblox, VR content, and kids interacting with strangers
• Discussion about limits on VR usage and past exposure to horror
• Tom quietly dismantles a cardboard city; kids never notice
• Debate on kids remembering promises and being disappointed
• Talk about VR zombie games and their age ratings
• Crystal questions VR's impact on a child’s brain
• Reference to Columbine-era video game panic
• Joke about being trapped in VR like old sci-fi plots
• Maisie described as a sensitive rule-follower
• Dan regrets joke that made Maisie cry
• Promotion for Orange County Library’s Book Fest with Brad Meltzer
• History Center’s “Collected” exhibit and free third Thursdays
• Science of Wine event at Science Center promoted
• Praise for educational partnerships
• Jelly Roll NPR parody and discussion of his fading fame
• Mention of Burt Kreischer’s 5K event and pricing debate
• Introduction of fictional overnight host “Scarves Toboggan”
• Scarves plays random YouTube songs and complains about no audience
• Debate about ethics of unpaid radio interns
• Skit with fake SafeTouch rival “Vault Field” and parody burglars
• Dan and Tom discuss expensive ad branding and mascots
• Bug-based characters like “Silverfish Man” and “The Exterminator”
• Creepy bug designs, mohawk caterpillars, and punk rock stings
• “Old Man” character reminisces about grunge and Surge soda
• Nostalgia for the OJ Simpson trial and Ed Tyll losing ads
• Story of sabotaging tapes to avoid lawsuits
• Listeners remember clear pagers and see-through electronics
• References to Beavis and Butthead, Star Trek: TNG, and N64
• Ross promotes comedy shows at Bull & Bush and Framework Coffee
• Tom plans to visit NYC spots like the 9/11 Memorial and Planetarium
• Andrea mentions Times Square’s screen show and Ireland portal
• Ram Davesey warns of a water-based apocalypse and gold-filled boats
• Fantasy of escaping floods with helium balloons
• Final reminders for new merch and $10 leftover BDM shirts
• Contact Eric via TomandDan.com for merch issues
• Episode ends with legal disclaimer and “mediocre” sendoff
###
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Today's A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan podcast is brought to you by the Bart Merrick team. |
| 0:05.0 | It's Bart Merrick and Crystal Van. |
| 0:06.7 | If you need a super experienced realtor team that will combine to help you out with anything you need, |
| 0:14.0 | plus bring their years of experience and the hundreds upon hundreds of houses they have sold for BDMs or bought for BDMs. |
| 0:22.9 | Well, they take it very seriously. Take your life and take the purchase of a home seriously |
| 0:27.6 | and get two people that will never drop the ball. Bart and Crystal, they very much enjoy |
| 0:34.8 | selling and buying homes for you guys and making the process less scary and more easy. |
| 0:39.9 | Also, people sometimes question, like, oh, like, why use a realtor? |
| 0:44.3 | They can help you either save or earn tens of thousands of dollars on a home purchase based on their experience. |
| 0:52.8 | You're like, you're like, oh, well, I could do this myself, but you could be missing tons of things. |
| 0:57.5 | I gave you a point. |
| 0:58.3 | This could screw you out of tens of thousands of dollars. |
| 1:01.7 | I'll give you one way or the other. |
| 1:03.2 | Bart Merrick and Crystal Van sold my mom's home in St. Augustine. |
| 1:08.3 | I had it under value. |
| 1:10.2 | Bart adjusted the price. I came in 40 grand higher. |
| 1:13.8 | There. That's a real number. You would have lost out $40.000. That was my mom and dad worked |
| 1:20.0 | very hard for that, right? And Bart and Chris were like, no, we're going to put it at this. |
| 1:24.9 | It's a premium area. And old people want to get in there. We're going to sell this thing fast and get the hell out of here. |
| 1:29.2 | Yeah, you're paying for the experience. |
| 1:31.1 | Anyway, we got a BDM that used Bart and Crystal. |
| 1:34.9 | Melissa's online. |
... |
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