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Speaking of women who want Nick,

my ex and I saw him open for Chris Porter years back at the Funny Bone.

She just couldn't stop talking about how cutie was. That was years back, though, Nick. You got that going for you. He's changed since then. As an act of stoned revenge, I bought his license plate. That's I'd rather be masturbating, right? Correct. Put it on the rear plate of her car one night. I thought it was hilarious. She did not. I'm Jeremy. All right. That is hilarious. Yeah. So Jeremy's wife thinks you're cute too. Yeah, but Jeremy wife thinks Nick's funny. She doesn't think Jeremy's funny. Oh, man. Do you read Dan's email too? Hey, guys, I'm a custodian at a local high school. Got a call for a clogged toilet in the girls' restroom. When we got up there, it was this cocoon-looking hair meatloaf thing that wouldn't flush. Look at Nick. Look at Nick. Nick's not cute right now. It wouldn't flush. We had to take it out with trash pickers. We wondered how this person passed this. Love you guys. That's Dan.

It was one solid object.

A cocoon-looking hair meatloaf

thing that wouldn't flush,

he says.

Great description.

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