797 The Slow Drip of Poison: Why Passive Aggressive Anger Destroys Relationships
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
4.9 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 6 January 2026
⏱️ 25 minutes
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Summary
In my almost three decades as a psychotherapist, I've seen passive-aggressive anger quietly destroy more relationships than infidelity.
It's a slow drip of poison. And most of us don't even realize we're doing it.
Do you ever say you're fine when you're not? Use sarcasm to let someone know you're pissed off instead of just saying it?
Or are you ever on the receiving end of these behaviors?
If you've done it or been on the receiving end of it, welcome to being a human in relationships with other people.
On this episode of The Terri Cole Show, we are going to discuss passive-aggressive anger. Why we do it, what it looks like, and what we can do instead.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/797
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole show. I'm so psyched that you're here. |
| 0:07.0 | I want to start with a question. Are you either the person who's delivering this or on the receiving end of someone saying, is everything okay? |
| 0:16.9 | And the other person saying, it's fine. But they don't sound like it's fine. Or are you with someone |
| 0:24.1 | who, when they're upset, instead of talking about it, they slam a door or roll their eyes or huff and |
| 0:30.0 | puff around or start slamming shit in the kitchen? Anybody? Or maybe that's you slamming shit in the |
| 0:35.1 | kitchen. Either way, this episode of the Terry Cole show |
| 0:38.3 | today is all about passive, aggressive anger. We're going to talk about what it looks like. We're |
| 0:43.6 | going to talk about why we do it and we're going to talk about how to stop doing it because it is |
| 0:49.2 | very bad for your relationships and bad for you too. So before we get into it, I just want to say thank you so much |
| 0:55.0 | for being here. Really, if it wasn't for you guys, I'm not sure what I would be doing on this |
| 1:00.4 | day at this moment in time, but instead I'm recording an episode of the Jerry Cole show for you. |
| 1:06.3 | So thanks for tuning in. If you love the show, it supports me so much and helps if you would rate |
| 1:11.6 | and review it and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. I love to highlight this five-star review from Angie Vias. |
| 1:19.1 | Worth every moment. I've been listening to Terry since 2017 and have both of her books. |
| 1:23.8 | She has the best advice and strategies for setting boundaries, always has wonderful and pertinent |
| 1:28.0 | guests on end, is my go-to for codependency, narcissism, and boundaries. Follow and listen to her. |
| 1:33.6 | You won't be disappointed. Why, thank you, Angie V.S. for taking the time to write that beautiful |
| 1:38.7 | five-star review for the Terry Cole show. I guarantee you somebody read your review and started |
| 1:43.5 | listening to this show because of you. |
| 1:45.6 | So it takes a village, you guys, and if you want to help me amplify my positive ripple in the world, |
| 1:51.5 | please go do a review. I love it. Anyway, all right, let's move it on into today's episode on |
| 1:56.9 | passive-aggressive anger. |
... |
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