Welcome to episode 793 with my guest, Andrea Leeb.

My name's Paul.

Welcome to the podcast.

Today is our 15th anniversary of when we did our first episode.

March 26, 2011, I can't believe.

Can't believe how time has flown by to use the most hackneyed phrase in the world.

If you're new to the podcast, welcome. I hope you find this to be a place for honesty about all the battles in your head from medically diagnosed conditions, past traumas, and sexual dysfunctioned

everyday compulsive negative thinking. This show's not meant to be a substitute for professional

mental counseling. I am not a therapist. I don't know why I said that the way I did.

Sounded like I wasn't really sure whether or not I was a therapist and I was making my mind up as I was saying it.

Where to begin? Where to begin?

There's something I kind of want to talk about, but I also kind of don't want to talk about it.

Which is usually to me when I need to talk about it. And I've talked about it with the people that mentor me in my support groups and friends, my girlfriend.

But I... my girlfriend, but I've been sober from drugs and alcohol for 22 years.

Now, when it comes to things like pornography, that has, I've been going to a support group for that for 16 years and that has been much much

much more challenging because here here is my pattern is I don't go right to pornography

what I do is I'll click on that, even though I'm hardly ever on social media, I'll

click on that Instagram picture of somebody that's attractive or maybe even scantily clad.

And 99 times out of 100, nothing happens.

One time out of 100, it's just like a, it's like you're drinking a glass of water and somebody put a drop of whiskey in it and you can just taste it and it changes your chemistry and then you're

like, well, let me see if there's a picture of her actually topless.

And here's why one of the reasons I didn't want to talk about it is I'm I'm 63 years old and it feels gross to be

...