79. The Secrets of Happily Married Women & Men: Dr. Scott Haltzman

The Suzanne Venker Show

Suzanne Venker

Society & Culture

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 10 January 2021

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Scott Haltzman, also known as “Dr. Scott,” is internationally recognized for his work on infidelity and in support of marriage. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Nightline, Good Morning America, The Rachel Ray Show, as well as a whole host of print media.

It will surprise no one who listens to this podcast why I invited Scott on the program. His most recent book is The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity, and his other books include The Secrets of Happily Married Men, and The Secrets of Happily Married Women, and The Secrets of Happy Families.

Need I say more?

IN THIS EPISODE:

4:20 Men need to treat their relationship like their job.

8:50 Know your wife. This is critical to win your her heart

10:49 How to balance work and marriage

14:00 The thought process women go through when they get married vs. what the men feel like

15:50 Expect conflict and deal with it

18:45 Learn to listen.

22:00 Aim to please.

25:36 Understand the truth about sex. Typically, the biggest complaint for men is that their wives don’t want to have enough sex. Therapists have done men a disservice by telling them that if men do more at home they'll get more sex.

27:55 Sex has become conditional, when it should just be a part of a marriage.

28:20 Your wife must feel like she's your priority

34:35 The secrets of happily married women: Men need to feel cared for, men need acknowledgement for their efforts, men have trouble verbalizing love and regret, men need to protect their families, men need to be right and in control, men need action, and men have undeniably strong attraction to females

37:00 The culture has made such a big deal about women caring for men. (Example: cooking for them, etc.)

39:00 Why men need acknowledgement for their efforts and how that affects them

41:00 Men have trouble verbalizing love and regret.

42:00 Trying to protect your family sometimes get perceived as “bullying”

43:20 Men need to be right and in control—it is instinctual

45:40 Men are instinctively attracted to women

49:10 How to “fight better” and the differences between men and women when it comes to fighting

50:30 Learn to talk less/the power of being quiet

53:40 Dr. Haltzman talks how to take charge of your own happiness and the myths surrounding what is a “happy” marriage

55:10 The 4 attributes of happy women: being surrounded by friends being physically active, being involved in life, and being open to spirituality

58:10 Don’t “do,” just breathe

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Transcript

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0:00.0	From the magnificent Midwest, it's the Suzanne Venker Show, where men and women are equal in value, but wildly different by nature.
0:17.9	Join us here every week when we challenge the culture's hugely flawed narratives about men, women, sex, and love. From coast to coast and from around the world,
0:26.1	thank you for joining us. This program is brought to you in part by Let's Get Real, where
0:30.4	forensic accountant Tiffany Cowh chooses her financial skills to shine the light on the real issues
0:34.7	we face every day. If you'd like to make decisions based on fact rather than on cultural pressure, go to
0:40.4	let's get real life.com, a place where you can find tools to improve your communication skills
0:45.5	and to increase your connection to humanity.
0:48.2	That's let's get real life.com.
0:51.7	Today on the show, we're going to talk with author and psychiatrist Dr. Scott Haltzman.
0:56.0	But first, two quick announcements.
0:59.2	If you have not become a Patreon supporter, now is the time to do so.
1:02.8	As always, there are four very economical levels, and those who sign up at the $20 level
1:07.1	receive a signed copy of the Alpha Females Guide to Men and Marriage. I've extended this offer
1:12.2	through the end of January, so act now. Finally, have you ever considered marriage coaching?
1:17.9	If the wife or husband you once knew seems to have disappeared, don't throw in the towel
1:22.3	before trying coaching first, which is very different from counseling. Coaching isn't clinical or
1:26.9	meant for people with
1:27.7	mental health issues. It's more of a mentoring program for those who've been there, done that
1:32.0	and who want to see you succeed. So many of my clients are shocked to learn that the tools they need
1:36.5	to sustain love have been available to them all along, but in a culture in which equality reigns,
1:41.2	they haven't had permission to access the glorious differences between
1:44.3	women and men that make love work. I can help you develop the skills you need to speak your spouse's
	...

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