Welcome to Totalis Rankium. This week, Evetus! Hello and welcome to Roman emperors

Hitalis Aranquium. I am Jamie.

And I'm Rob ranking all of the emperors from Augustus to Augustulus.

And this is episode 78.

Evetus.

Avetus.

Or avittus.

Or avitus. Or avitaris. Yes, as we've been discussing for a while. But we're going for Evetus. Yes. What are your expectations? Not high. Considering you said he's just so short as the other guy. He's not quite... Understandably, Petronius. Petronius, yes. He's not quite as short, but it's... No, let's not ruin it. Let's just go into... Maybe Abetus is going to turn it all around. What, the decline of the empire that's coming up within 80 years? Within 20 years. Oh, oh. Yeah, maybe... Maybe we'll have the next golden age. Maybe we are. It's a really short one. Or the golden afternoon. Which sounds dirty. Recap? Yeah, that'll be useful. Recap. Aetius is still dead. I was going to say he's dead. He's still very dead. Valentinian 3 is dead. Yeah. All due to Petronius and its mustache twiddling ways.

Yor, he was, yeah, and his green dog.

Yes, Petronius is also dead.

Vandals are at the gates of Rome. Things are looking bad.

Hello? Can we come in?

Who are you? We're Vandals.

That doesn't sound good.

We don't live up to our name. Well, we're going to that. We will. Right, I did mention Evitas once last week. Yes. He was up north getting the Goff's approval of Petronius's elevation to the purple, but that's all I mentioned. Yeah. It had popped out of nowhere, didn't he? Yeah. So, let's go into him, but before we do, let's not go to the start of his life. Let's instead continue from the death of Petronius and deal with the sack of Rome. Two. Oh, another one. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Well, the vandals are there, aren't they? Oh, yeah, of course. They're knocking the door. Ooh, yes.

They weren't just, like, deliver with leaflets. I just thought you were exaggerating slightly.

No, no, they're there.

So, call me a skeptic. I'm a skeptic. Thank you. Right, next. but I'm guessing the reason you're kind of avoiding the beginning part of his birth is one is either ridiculously dull and there's no point

or we just don't know so which is it robert which is it that's kind of both to be honest but that's not actually why i'm doing it

i just figured we left on a cliffhanger list last time the vandals were about to sack rome yes petronius got killed

yeah let's actually deal with that first.

Okay.

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