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The Joe Rogan Experience

#778 - Ari Shaffir

The Joe Rogan Experience

Joe Rogan

Comedy

4.6228.6K Ratings

🗓️ 28 March 2016

⏱️ 163 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ari Shaffir is a stand-up comedian and also hosts the podcasts Ari Shaffir’s Skeptic Tank & Punch Drunk Sports availalbe on Spotify. Check out the 2nd season of his show This Is Not Happening on Comedy Central. http://arithegreat.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

by yourself in a house.

0:02.0

Like you should be serious to think about buying a house.

0:05.0

Jamie or me?

0:06.0

You.

0:08.0

Yes!

0:10.0

Or you should fear in the fucking house. Put the fucking house so we feel like we're doing something there we go

0:15.3

where they are this these headphones make a difference it's so much easier without my glasses

0:19.4

they used to pinch me oh that's right crush my'll crush my ears, but nah.

0:23.0

White and got your eyes cut on.

0:25.0

Yeah.

0:26.0

They put a fucking laser right to your eyeball and they go, don't look at it.

0:30.0

Like it's an eye, my eyeball.

0:32.0

Oh, wow. Because you're looking at it. I'm like, I know, I'm looking at it. It an eye right eyeball. Oh, wow.

0:32.8

Because you're looking at it.

0:33.8

I'm looking at it.

0:34.8

It's right my eyeball.

0:35.8

So what do you have to do?

0:36.8

What do you look straight ahead?

0:37.8

And so they come in like this legs, but then it's like,

0:41.0

Isaac gets right next to your eyes slightly to the left like

0:44.0

of the outside of the black part you know how do they keep your eyeballs

0:48.2

open from blinking what's it called style like a speculum? Yeah, but what's that movie?

...

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