74: My Son Messed Up. Can I Keep Him from Being Canceled?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2022

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can learn from their mistakes if they are being canceled? How can kids move down the road to repair? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.
0:10.0	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:17.0	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:24.2	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.
0:28.2	Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.
0:33.1	So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.
0:36.6	Episode 74, my son messed up.
0:38.2	Can I keep him from being canceled?
0:54.6	You know, I'm still going strong with this salad club, and can I tell you, it's really been wonderful where, you know, everyone makes a salad and you have one day in the week and we rotate and you get these salads every week.
0:59.2	It's really helped me with my control of craving sugar.
1:03.7	It's like this impulse to constantly eat chocolate throughout this pandemic for me.
1:04.6	Yeah.
1:05.2	Yeah.
1:09.4	There's been a lot of chocolate consumption around here for sure.
1:12.8	Well, I love sweets. And I also think about,
1:17.0	was there something I could have done my childhood that could make me not be so impulsive in eating chocolate all the time? Does it bleed into adulthood in other activities? Is that true? Does it?
1:23.2	I don't know. I mean, chocolate, it's so good. It's so good. If you're impulsive, then that's what
1:29.3	you do to eat when you're impulsive as you eat chocolate. I think you're living right.
1:33.3	But on the topic of impulsive things, when it comes to your kid, there are things that are far
1:37.5	more egregious and could have long-term consequences than chocolate. And that's why this letter
1:43.6	really stood out in our inbox. And it says, it's talking about impulse chocolate. And that's why this letter really stood out in our
1:44.5	inbox and it says, it's talking about impulse control. And it says, Dear Lisa, my 13-year-old son
	...

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