73: I Saw My Daughter’s Shocking Texts. Should I Confront Her?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 22 March 2022

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent discovers an alarming text about a classmate on her kid's phone and wonders if she should confront her child. How do you address text messages that you were not meant to see? Dr. Lisa walks us though how to weigh your child's safety with the need to build trust. When should you tell a fellow parent if you have intel on their child? Reena wonders why you shouldn’t just pick up the phone and call the other parent. Lisa explains how and when to pass along information about another child without damaging your relationship with your own. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.
0:10.0	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:17.0	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:24.2	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.
0:28.2	Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.
0:33.1	So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.
0:37.4	Episode 73, I saw my daughter's shocking text.
0:38.5	Should I confront her?
0:46.8	The battle continues in my house about getting a phone.
0:47.8	I'm just not ready.
0:49.7	I know we've had several episodes.
0:56.3	I feel like it weaves through a podcast, but what would you say are like two cardinal rules,
1:00.0	just two things all parents should keep in mind with cell phones? First of all, I just have to say that I love that our listeners are getting like the real time unfolding. I mean, it's like,
1:05.1	because this is exactly what it's like for parents. Like, should I? Shouldn't I? Yeah. Okay,
1:08.7	what are important? Okay, Rina, I'm just going to, you know, this is going to be like, should I, shouldn't I? Yeah. Okay, what are important? Okay, Rina, I'm just going to, you know, this is going to be like, I'm going to get a tattoo.
1:13.3	No phones in bedrooms, no phones in bedrooms, right?
1:15.7	So, like, that one just I feel very strongly about it.
1:19.0	I know a lot of people disagree.
1:20.6	So I would do that.
1:22.7	And then I would say, go slow, go slow, right? Handing a phone to a kid is not like, all right, good luck.
1:28.1	Let us know when, you know, when there's a crisis, I mean, like really go slow and keep a tight
1:35.0	rain on it, at least at the beginning.
	...

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