#74 - I Got No War Jokes

Lewis Black's Rantcast

Lewis Black

Stand-up, Leisure, Comedy

4.7 • 843 Ratings

🗓️ 16 March 2022

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There's on old adage about New England that if you don't like the weather, just wait. And just like the wearying vicissitudes of the northeastern climate, the wider human experience provides an endless variety of new ways to redefine insanity. From war to pestilence to trading for Carson Wentz as your solution at QB, no amount of reason can sway certain members of the species from terrible decision-making. The news media may be the only people happy with the situation as it gives them license to fall into their natural tendency of being an endless funnel of the awful. Their operational focus being offering limitless speculation on how we are going to die today. The big news – non-Apocalyptic category – comes from the world of sports where the teams that Lewis roots for are doing their best to have their worst seasons; a real feat considering he roots for the Orioles. And the Wizards. And the Commanders. His only hope for distraction comes from March Madness, though the broadcasts are sure to be marred by incessant interstitial music and the overly hair-gelled announcers who think the sound of their voice is more important than the games on the court. Also, Olympic frozen penis. The live rants come from the shows in Concord, NH, Boston, MA, and Providence, RI, three municipalities battling for bitterness supremacy. Want to see Lewis live? Tickets are available here: https://www.lewisblack.com/tickets Check out Lewis’ Grammy-nominated special, Thanks For Risking Your Life https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE New episodes arrive every Wednesday. SUBMIT RANTS TO LEWIS www.lewisblack.com/live SUBSCRIBE TO THE RANTCAST www.lewisblacksrantcast.com FOLLOW LEWIS www.lewisblack.com www.youtube.com/officiallewisblack www.instagram.com/thelewisblack www.facebook.com/thelewisblack www.twitter.com/thelewisblack www.tiktok.com/@thelewisblack For advertising opportunities/contact email: rantcast@thesyn.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	And the rubber chicken says,
0:21.6	It seems to me that you humans get crazier every day, but what do I know?
0:30.6	I'm just a rubber chicken.
0:32.6	Well, we do, we seem to redefine insanity every single day, Robert Chicken. You're right on that.
0:40.0	And we'll talk about it another time because we got to get on with Rantcast. Seventy-four entitled,
0:46.5	I got no war jokes. None. Zip. No war jokes. None today. None are going to happen.
0:57.8	People always say, uh, what are the things you can't make a joke about?
1:12.2	Well, I find it really hard to make war jokes. Unless you're in the middle of it, then you're in a trench somewhere and you can, then you've got to come up with something to make keep yourself you know kind of laughing so you can make it to the next day then i might come up
1:18.0	with one but sitting here watching it on a weekly basis on a daily basis on every 10 minute
1:22.5	basis no um no i don't have i don't have any what's's happening in the Ukraine is beyond my comprehension.
1:31.1	The only people that seem to be really happy about this war is, I think, the news media,
1:40.5	which is finally they've got like a live stream that, you know, it's just horrible
1:46.3	every day and they can go on with their, this is awful here.
1:50.1	This is some more awful.
1:51.3	Here's some more awful.
1:53.6	It's just gotten to the point of, like, you turn on the TV, it's kind of like, well,
1:58.9	you know, on a larger global perspective, how are we going to
2:02.8	die today?
2:03.8	Huh?
2:04.1	There's going to be COVID, which has kind of disappeared for a moment.
2:08.1	Or is it going to be that Schmuck is going to, you know, hit a nuclear button because we can't
2:13.2	figure out what to do.
	...

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