734 Are You an (Unintentional) Boundary Bully?
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 8 July 2025
⏱️ 23 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you find yourself saying "I don't want to hurt their feelings" while completely abandoning your own needs? You think you're being nice, but you're actually training people to ignore what matters to you—because you're ignoring it first.
In this episode, I break down the hidden cost of people-pleasing and why "being nice" is often just self-abandonment dressed up as politeness. I go over the 5 core types of boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, material, and energetic) and shares exactly what healthy boundary-setting looks like in real life.
You'll learn:
- Why boundaries aren't walls—they're doors that YOU control
- How you teach people to treat you by what you allow, stop, and reinforce
- The difference between being liked and being safe
- What to do when people get mad about your boundaries
- Why the more authentic you is waiting on the other side of the limits you set
Plus, get Terri's Boundary Script Kit with scripts for all 5 types of boundaries at terricole.com/guide.
If you've spent years people-pleasing and managing other people's emotions, this episode will help you reclaim your peace and show up as your full, authentic self.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/734
Doors to Boundary Bootcamp are open! It's my 8 week Flagship Boundary Course with 8 Live Q&A Coaching Calls. To get more info and sign up got to terricole.com/bb2025
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole Show. |
| 0:06.0 | I am so happy that you decided to join me today. |
| 0:09.0 | So I want to start with a question. |
| 0:12.0 | Are you sort of the one, do you like pride yourself on being the go-to person for your group? |
| 0:18.0 | Are people sort of always coming to you for answers, for when they have problems, |
| 0:24.3 | and are you someone who really doesn't do that, right? Are you the, I'm fine, I've got a person? |
| 0:31.9 | Do you anticipate needs? Do you over-deliver? And rarely, let's be honest, do you rarely ask for help? You feel like you're |
| 0:39.9 | being helpful, but down deep. You're kind of exhausted. Perhaps you feel a little bit underappreciated. |
| 0:46.5 | You might be a little resentful and you might not be sure why you feel kind of unsatisfied |
| 0:52.5 | in your relationships. Well, if any of that rings true for you, |
| 0:59.0 | then this episode of the Terry Cole show is for you, my friend, because I'm going to be |
| 1:04.2 | talking about when helping kind of hurts, right? And how as codependence or high functioning codependence, we may be crossing |
| 1:13.6 | boundaries with the best intentions, right? We might be emotionally fixing being like, it's all for love, |
| 1:21.1 | you know, but it doesn't get us what we want. So I'm going to be giving you ideas of what you can do instead |
| 1:28.9 | and really walk you through why letting other people feel their feelings is the real gift. |
| 1:36.3 | All right. |
| 1:36.7 | So before we get into it, I just want to say, hi. |
| 1:41.1 | What do I feel like it's been a long time? |
| 1:42.4 | Although it has not been a long time. |
| 1:44.0 | It's only been since two days ago, or last Thursday, actually. Hi. Well, do I feel like it's been a long time, although it has not been a long time. |
| 1:48.2 | It's only been since two days ago, or last Thursday, actually. |
| 1:52.2 | But I'm psyched you're here. And I really do know that you could be anywhere. |
... |
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