You can't possibly be serious Ted Lasso.

You coached a football team as like if the queen was an Indian.

Well, you know, I'm not much for fairy tales, but around the time my son was free, we

started watching a frozen and Elsa said, let's build a snowman.

And you know, a lot of the guys in the Me Too movement turned out to be from Jewish descent,

but I didn't necessarily think that made a pattern.

So let's me three this team.

Oh, you're right, Ted Lasso.

I'm sorry.

I'm actually mean because I was molested and I'm going to tell you about it.

Despite us meeting for the first time.

Well, now it's good as time of any to address your trauma that you're immediately telling

me.

By the way, my marriage is over.

This is the first time we've both met each other.

We don't have to write a character when they just reveal all of their formative traumas

and change them instantly after one second.

You know, I'll tell you what, if spreading positivity and optimism were a deadly disease with

no cure, then just call me Fritz Canadian Flight Attendant, gay, tan, do goss.

Cause I'm patient zero.

Hey, Ted Lasso.

Guys, I just spent probably the last like six of my waking hours watching a good chunk

...