72. Hey
The Allusionist
Helen Zaltzman
4.7 • 3.8K Ratings
🗓️ 9 February 2018
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
“Hey.”
“Going to the supermarket, want me to get you anything?”
“Puppies or ice cream?”
“What’s your glasses prescription?”
“I wanna ***** your *********.”
If you’ve used a dating app, maybe you’ve received one of the above messages from a stranger, or sent them. Striking up an interaction with someone is a tricky business. Why Oh Why and Longest Shortest Time host Andrea Silenzi opens up her phone to analyse the kinds of opening messages people send on dating apps, and how easily they can land badly.
Find out more about this episode at http://theallusionist.org/hey, and hear Andrea hosting The Longest Shortest Time podcast on your podblasters of choice.
Content note: this episode contains a couple of instances of Adult Language and references to Adult Behaviours.
The show’s online home is http://theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at http://twitter.com/allusionistshow and http://facebook.com/allusionistshow.
Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Thanks to Canva for sponsoring the illusionist. In the 10 years since Canva began, it has |
| 0:08.3 | grown to offer services in over 100 languages. And Canva is freemium, so there is plenty available |
| 0:17.2 | for zero pounds, including free libraries of video, audio, graphics, and their amazing |
| 0:24.2 | tools, magic write, and magic design, which use AI to help you with your first drafts, |
| 0:31.0 | get you through the creative block, whew, because it's easier to start from something than |
| 0:36.5 | from a blank page. I put in a few writing prompts and, well, if Canva learns to speak, I think |
| 0:43.5 | I can just hand over hosting this show to it entirely. Also, if you and your colleagues |
| 0:48.7 | are working together, your human colleagues, that is, you can design and collaborate with |
| 0:53.4 | Canva for teams. Right now, you can get a free 45 day extended trial when you go to Canva.me-illusionist. |
| 1:00.4 | This is the illusionist, in which I, Helen Zoltzman, look for the flashing beacon of language |
| 1:30.0 | on a foggy cliff. Today's episode contains a couple of grown-up words and mental images, |
| 1:35.7 | where protective clothing. On with the show. |
| 1:42.9 | I don't respond to anyone, so. You don't. I look at their face and I feel nothing, |
| 1:53.8 | that is a chilling indictment of the whole system. |
| 2:00.8 | A few months ago, I was a guest on one of my favourite podcasts, Y-O-Y, hosted by Andrea |
| 2:07.8 | Selenzy. Y-O-Y is about dating, which Andrea was doing reluctantly as she was still in |
| 2:14.0 | pain from a breakup with her long-term boyfriend. Approaching people is tricky online as in |
| 2:18.8 | real life, and because Andrea knows one of my favourite things to do is to analyse the |
| 2:22.9 | way humans communicate with words. She got me to take a look at the kind of opening |
| 2:26.7 | lines people send to each other on dating apps to initiate contact, to try to figure out |
| 2:31.3 | why most of them are not peaking her interest. |
| 2:34.8 | I feel like so much of the opening messages outside of the person sending the messages |
... |
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