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Lez Hang Out | A Lesbian Podcast

709: Just Passing Bi with Nikita Redkar

Lez Hang Out | A Lesbian Podcast

Lez Hang Out

Personal Journals, Tv & Film, Society & Culture

4.7545 Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2023

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast brought to you by the color PINK! This week Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out with TikTok educational content creator Nikita Redkar (@nikitadumptruck) to discuss the nuanced topics of labeling sexuality, gatekeeping within the queer community, and why everything wrong with -gestures vaguely- can be traced right back to Reagan. If you have ever wondered what it would be like to learn about politics, current news and economics directly from Cher Horowitz, Greta Gerwig’s Barbie and Elle Woods all wrapped into one very pink high femme girly, you’re in the right place.  Back in the early days of the pandemic it seemed like everyone and their roommate was reading the Lesbian Master Doc and heavily analyzing their gender and sexuality. While there are some useful things in the master doc if you do happen to be a lesbian, it gets complicated when considering how difficult it can be to really tell the difference between societally influenced attraction to men and organic attraction to men.  When Nikita first came out as bisexual in 2016, the label felt like it fit her perfectly. Then, in 2019, fueled both by having learned about compulsory heterosexuality from the master doc and by recognizing that she was more drawn to women and feminine leaning people than she was to men or masculinity, the lesbian label felt like a better fit. As a full time TikToker with a heavily queer following, Nikita found that as she posted more overtly lesbian content, she was celebrated and welcomed more strongly by the community. She started to really lean into her newfound identity, even getting a septum piercing (that she didn’t even really want that much) as a way of flagging. In 2021, Nikita realized that she may have leaned a little too hard, too fast into identifying as a lesbian. She began to feel anxiety over the idea of having to come out publicly all over again as a bisexual, knowing that this change could cause backlash from some of her lesbian followers. While we like to think that most lesbians are welcoming and accepting of bisexual women, shifting labels back and forth can also trigger defensive feelings in those whose own sexuality was accused of being ‘just a phase’. Although Nikita is out about being bi to her family and friends, internalized shame and anxiety over possible negative reactions has caused her to keep the closet door shut on her TikTok. We dive into navigating the nuances of labels and talk about some of the ways in which bisexuals have historically been treated poorly or seen as less queer by certain sectors of the community and why gatekeeping typically does more harm than good. Follow us on Twitter: Lez Hang Out (@lezhangoutpod) and answer our Q & Gay questions at the end of every episode. You can also join us on Facebook.com/lezhangoutpod and follow on Instagram (@lezhangoutpod). Find us individually on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida).  Spots for Costa Rica are filling up fast! Don’t miss out on gifting yourself or someone you love the queer vacation of a lifetime. Secure your spot today at bit.ly/lezdocostarica. You can support Lez Hang Out while unlocking a bunch of awesome perks like access to our exclusive Discord, monthly full length bonus episodes, weekly ad free episodes, and more by joining us on Patreon at bit.ly/lezpatreon. You can also support the podcast by buying our original merch at bit.ly/lezshop and purchasing our original Lez-ssentials songs for as little as $1 each on Bandcamp! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Let's hang out.

0:02.7

Let's hang out.

0:03.8

And let's talk about what lessons are found.

0:06.4

Let's hang out.

0:07.3

And let's listen to two has me and shout.

0:09.9

Let's hang out.

0:14.8

Hey, everyone.

0:16.1

Welcome back to Let's Hang Out, the podcast that's pink goes with everything. We like other colors, but pink just

0:26.1

looks so good on us. True. You are wearing pink right now, too, for our listeners who cannot see you.

0:32.9

I know. This is about as pink as my wardrobe actually gets. So it was perfect, perfect timing for this.

0:38.8

From the West Coast, I'm Lee Holmes Foster.

0:41.2

From the East Coast, I'm Ellie Bridgeta. To those of you who have been with us through this whole journey, thank you as always for listening. If you're a new listener, welcome. We're excited to have you here. Here's what's happening this week. This week in the Lestam.

0:54.4

This Week in the Lesdom.

0:58.7

This Week in the Lesdom is a place where we can touch base each episode about things going on with the podcast or otherwise.

1:02.4

We have all kinds of bonus Patreon episodes going up on our Patreon.

1:05.0

Our most recent one was for Signature Move.

1:14.3

And our next one is going to be a very exciting Christmas Patreon episode on a New York Christmas wedding, one of Lee's favorite movies.

1:16.5

I am excited to talk about it.

1:19.0

I think it's going to be that shit and so fun.

1:20.1

So cannot wait for that.

1:24.6

If you want to listen to that, join our Patreon at bit.lee slash less Patreon. We also want to remind you because we are starting to fill up those spots to go to

1:29.4

costa rica in may so if you have been wondering if now is the time like you know what a great

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