Welcome to Darren Daily on demand, your most trusted resource to help you become better every day.

Here's your success mentor Darren Hardy.

Good morning and welcome back. So yesterday we started to correct the overcorrection that we made as a society coming out of the Everybody Gets a Trophy Syndrome of the self-esteem movement when it comes to praise.

I promise to walk you through seven specific praise mistakes that most people make that screw people

up even against your best intentions. So here's how parents, leaders, and coaches

muck this up and do it wrong. Here's what not to do and then what to do instead.

You ready? Here we go. Number one, don't praise the outcome.

Prazing the outcome like this is so beautiful, great job even though you mean well can create a

persistent performance anxiety.

It can now be interpreted as a condition of your love,

if it is not beautiful next time.

You won't love them the same.

It puts a fixation on outcome approval.

They are only good, they are only loved, if they get the right result.

Instead, you want to praise the process, the effort, the character attributes used to create the result. So that sounds like I love the way

you colored every corner of that picture or what a beautiful combination of colors

that you chose or this must have taken you a long time to complete what great discipline you have to see it through and finish it.

You see, when children are praised on their effort, instead of their selves,

children gain confidence and feel empowered to try new things.

As a child psychologist said, when it comes to praise, there's more on the line than just boosting self-esteem.

A parent's job is to shape children's behavior, and that is exactly right as a leader of a team as well.

You are not just using praise to validate and boost confidence,

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