This is the illusionist in which I, Helen Zoltzman, pan for linguistic gold.

Coming up in today's show, our revelations that will shatter the belief you had in the

one thing you thought you could trust in this chaotic world.

To warm up, here's some word history.

Poodle, John T. Word for a John T. kind of dog, and because Poodle's water dogs, their

name came from the German word Poodle, meaning splash.

It shares a root with Poodle.

Bonus dog etymology, bassit towns, and the word bass share the same linguistic root,

which is the Latin bassus, meaning low.

Because bassit out is low, right?

To the ground, not morally.

On with the show, and a couple of weeks ago, I received an email from listener Ellie Williams,

which basically said,

Hey, Helen, you know all those dictionaries you love and revere so much, well, they're

riddled with lies.

Admittedly, she put it in much more polite terms, but she did say she's finishing a doctorate,

covering fake words that are deliberately listed in dictionaries.

Shocked and intrigued, I had to find out more from Ellie.

Just as soon as I'd regain consciousness and got up off the floor.

It's, I mean, I'm exactly the same.

You kind of approach a dictionary, not even tentatively.

It is, if it's in the dictionary, it is true, and that truth is pretty much immobile

...