If you're ready for a new job, let Express employment professionals help you.

Express is already hiring for summer jobs in a variety of industries.

Job seekers never pay a fee at Express.

Go to ExpressPros.com to find your location.

That's ExpressPros.com.

Let's roll.

Let's roll.

Never get their control.

They've got their money, but we've got our soul. Let's roll, let's roll, never get their control. They've got their money, but we've got our soul.

Let's roll, let's roll, never get their control.

They've got their money, but we've got our soul. Welcome to Redacted Tonight. The only comedy show hosted by a cyborg pumped full of a state-of-the-art joke algorithm.

What? Who wrote that completely untrue thing in the teleprompter?

Not?

Anyway, America finally has a solution to our labor crisis. You know, the one that's been causing restaurants to close due to a lack of employees,

causing retail outlets to cut their hours, and causing Sesame Street to have to fill employment gaps with undocumented puppets.

I love you, Carlos, but it's just not the same.

The immigrants come here and they steal our jobs.

That should be my ass with an art student's hand up it.

Anyway, with the labor crisis getting bad,

perhaps the answer is to pay workers more.

Here's a rather complicated chart of the minimum wage since 2009. As you can see,

back in 2009 it was 725, okay? And now a whole 13 years later, it's a whopping 725. So that's

...