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The Terri Cole Show

690 Is Flaking the New Self-Care...or Selfish? A Therapist's Take

The Terri Cole Show

Terri Cole

Psychotherapist, Sustainablechange, Guidance, Mental Health, Simplestrategies, Society & Culture, Powerofintention, Simplestrategiestoachievepersonalfreedom, Hellofreedom, Easternmindfulnesspractices, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Practicalpsychology, Terricole

51.3K Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2025

⏱️ 26 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Is flaking - canceling at the last second - the new self-care?

It seems to be on the rise and according to an article in The Guardian, the answer for some people is yes.

I disagree.

Flaking is avoidable with healthy boundaries and self-knowledge, and there are many self-care practices we can do that don’t involve regularly canceling on others.

In this episode, I share my thoughts on flaking, explore the nuances of having the right to change our minds (which I stand by), and detail steps to take for actual self-care in your life.

Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/690

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Well, hello there and welcome to today's episode.

0:03.9

I'm so happy that you're here.

0:05.8

In this episode, I'm going to be talking about something that apparently I got very

0:09.9

passionate about while I was recording the episode, the trendiness of flaking.

0:16.1

There was an article in The Guardian talking about flaking, right, like canceling plans at the last minute,

0:24.2

as self-care.

0:26.9

What?

0:27.9

Anyway, I had a lot to say about flaking as self-care.

0:31.5

Is it really self-care or is it more like having rigid boundaries, we will discuss?

0:35.7

I'm also hitting the nuances of having the right to change your

0:38.8

mind and how this is different from that. And I'm also giving you strategies and some scripts that you can

0:45.6

use when you need to cancel something or when you don't want to do something. In the meantime,

0:50.8

I just want to say, well, hi, friends, thanks for hanging out with me today.

0:54.6

I'm super pumped that you're here. As I always am, it means the world to me. If you love the show,

1:00.1

if you love it, it helps me so much when you rate, review, and subscribe. Make sure you're

1:05.2

subscribed, people, is free. And it helps me. It helps me with my numbers. It helps me with

1:10.2

eventual advertisers, if I ever do

1:11.8

that. I also love to highlight your five-star reviews and I want to say thank you to just me for this

1:17.6

five-star review. Grateful for your generous heart. I am literally in awe at your Boundary Boss podcast and

1:24.8

your amazing book. They are so life-changing, so validating, so mentally healing for

1:29.9

every aspect of my life, my mental health, and my inner peace. I've always believed in

1:35.4

practice this simple mantra, if you will, in my own life. When you learn, you teach, and when

...

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