4.8 • 18.6K Ratings
🗓️ 13 May 2019
⏱️ 94 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Tom Segura, a stand up comedian with multiple specials available on Netflix and a podcast called "Your Mom's House," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.
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0:00.0 | Last week I was home time to go right I'm not even down Kelly Boulevard and we stop at a light the beauty |
0:05.4 | Tom's a girl. I want to do this, but I want to do this for your studio only |
0:09.3 | I only want Tom's to go for productions about this |
0:13.5 | You have nothing to do. I want you to get a camera get the fucking do with the glasses. Yeah, Josh Potter |
0:19.3 | Let's get him. Let's get a nice and snow and we rent the car in New York |
0:22.9 | Drive down Kelly Boulevard and I tell you every corner where I rob somebody it is |
0:28.0 | The fucking funniest thing I used to rob a gas station across the school from high school |
0:32.9 | What there was a gas station across the street from high school was a Cuban guy named George |
0:37.8 | So the gas station was an amicus. We just called him George the amicus. That was his name |
0:42.7 | Let's try it out alright, but I can see that he was a dick |
0:45.4 | So one night we wanted to rob a gas station me and my buddy down regals guy rested so |
0:50.6 | So the first time we robbed it we didn't really rob that I went down try to rob a water pistol from pathmark |
0:56.3 | I'm like I caught robbing the water pistol because you put tape around it |
0:59.8 | And it looks like I'm gonna fuck you out of fucking thing and we got caught and I talked my way out of it |
1:05.3 | So we went we got like another plastic gun from my friends can fucking little brother and we taped it up and we |
1:10.9 | Me and regal we're gonna rob the joint and we went in and the fucking dude was washing his hands and he had to bundle a money |
1:18.7 | On top of the county you can't write this shit. You can't write this shit |
1:22.4 | And I remember looking at Darren and I just grabbed him |
1:25.2 | We just ran like pussy's down the corner. We ran for like three fucking box four blocks full speed ahead |
1:31.1 | We get to the corner is nothing as it got it was a Jewish bank row |
1:34.4 | It was like a 20 with a bunch of singles in the middle |
1:40.5 | So now we wait like six months and there's a new attendant and this guy we went in that full speed ahead |
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