682: Less Assuming, More Speaking Up - For People-Pleasers, Codependents + Empaths
The Terri Cole Show
Terri Cole
5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 21 January 2025
⏱️ 21 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you reluctantly agree to things you’d rather not do because you don’t know how to say no?
When you’re annoyed about something, do you say everything is FINE rather than saying what’s bothering you?
Do you also tend to judge someone if they don’t pick up on how you really feel?
In these situations, there’s an expectation that people will intuit our true emotions from the clues we drop.
However, relying on indirect communication can cause stress and resentment in our relationships because how we feel isn’t always apparent to others, even if we feel like it is.
The solution is authentic and direct communication, which is usually less comfortable, and why we often act rather than talk things out!
I want to empower you to choose to talk and assert your needs, which is what this episode is about. I’ll cover why we find it hard to speak our minds, why we may find it easier to judge and blame others, and ideas for being more authentic in our communication.
Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/682
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, hello there and welcome to this episode of the Terry Cole Show. And I'm going to start with a |
| 0:05.7 | couple of questions. Do you wish that your partner could read your mind? If you ever walk into |
| 0:12.1 | your house, you're in a terrible mood, and they're really not picking up what you're putting down. |
| 0:17.3 | You're exhausted. They're like, what do you want to do for dinner you know what have you planned for dinner |
| 0:23.6 | for that matter and do you wish that they could just dial into how you feel and it almost feels |
| 0:28.9 | obvious to you and you're like what is wrong with them you know or the friend who keeps you on the phone |
| 0:35.6 | forever and ever and you're completely exhausted and you're're like, I got to go, but they keep talking. |
| 0:40.4 | And instead of handling and telling the truth and getting off the phone, we get off the phone 20 minutes later and we're like annoyed and judging people. |
| 0:49.2 | Anyway, this episode of the Terracuse show is all about speaking up why it's hard, common reasons, |
| 0:54.9 | especially if you identify as an HFC, a high functioning codependent, why we don't do it, |
| 1:01.0 | and what you can do to inspire yourself to do it in your way, in your time. And I'm also |
| 1:08.5 | providing a whole bunch of scripts for you, which you can find with the |
| 1:11.6 | guide that goes along with this show. So before we get into it, I want to take a moment to say, |
| 1:17.4 | hey pal, that's 2025 so far. I'm so happy that you're here. I'm so happy that you're making time |
| 1:23.5 | to listen to the Terry Cole show in 2025. Of all the things we've left in 2024, I'm super |
| 1:28.9 | pumped that I was not left in 2024 when it comes to you. If you love the show, if you want to |
| 1:36.3 | help the show, it helps me so much if you would rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast |
| 1:42.1 | on Apple Podcasts. And I want to say thank you to Jade Holtzworth for this |
| 1:46.9 | five-star review of the Terry Cole Show. The name of it is, thank you, Terry. Finding Terry was |
| 1:52.6 | written in my journey, a pioneer in helping me to advance in life, spiritually, emotionally, |
| 1:57.2 | and physically. Thank you for being there for me and holding my hand through my boundary boss journey. If you love her podcast, her book is essential. Why, thank you so much, |
| 2:07.1 | Jade Holtzworth, you are the best. Super appreciate the time and energy, all of you who have |
... |
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