68. “I just learned he took out a secret $100,000 loan—two years ago”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 8 November 2022

⏱️ 77 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jan and Emily are in their thirties and recently bought a house. During the sales process, Emily discovered a $100k loan that Jan had taken out without her knowledge. To make matters worse, Jan admits he didn’t really have a plan on how to use this money to benefit their lives. Emily is the higher earner and lets Jan manage their money, adding to the feeling of betrayal that she keeps buried under a calm exterior. They are both supportive and willing to do the work—but Emily’s fear is real and must be processed out in the open. What happens in a relationship when trust with money is broken in such a profound way? How can you plan ahead or feel secure with your partner's decisions? It’s a path with obstacles, no doubt. Let’s see if we can help Jan and Emily navigate it. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Before we get to today's episode, you know I'm out there buying a bunch of different
0:04.0	tools and little gadgets to try to find out little ways to make my life more convenient.
0:09.6	This Saturday, I want to share three of my favorites.
0:12.2	Here's one of them.
0:13.2	I'm going to tell you what it is on this issue of my podcast newsletter.
0:17.3	And each of these three tools is under $25.
0:21.3	So to find out the three tools I use that make my life more convenient, much easier, go
0:25.9	to iwt.com slash podcast newsletter.
0:29.3	You can only get this issue at iwt.com slash podcast newsletter.
0:37.6	And what happened when he told you exactly how much he had taken out?
0:44.4	I was I was walking home and he said the number and I just immediately like, sorry, I just
0:55.6	immediately was like, it might give me one of those wives whose husband like gambles
1:00.9	away all of their money.
1:03.0	Everything that I thought I had that I had been saving for the last year, like working
1:07.4	and working towards this thing, I didn't have enough money to pay back that loan.
1:12.0	How much was the loan for?
1:13.8	The initial loan was for 36,000 and then got another 100,000 on top of that, which is
1:21.6	the hundred she didn't know about.
1:24.1	I thought we were at a different place financially than I learned that we were.
1:28.7	I would have been doing things differently.
1:33.0	Yeah, I think I would have been doing things differently.
1:38.0	Two years ago, Jan took out a hundred thousand dollar loan in secret.
	...

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