This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books,

takes your questions.

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

Episode 66, should I bribe my kid?

Thank you. Episode 66. Should I bribe my kid? What age do your kids actually do things that you don't have to keep nagging them over and over and over again to do?

35.

It sure feels that way.

It can't feel the way.

You know, actually, what interests me here, what I think of when you ask that question,

is actually how there's a real shift.

And for a lot of parents, it feels like overnight in terms of how nagging goes down

with your kids.

So when your kids are little, you know, pre-adolescent,

I think what a lot of people find, I certainly find, is if you say, you know,

you need to clean your room, you need to do this thing, they may, you know,

grumble about it, but if you lean on them or if you get mad, they will do it.

And then really, like one day they wake up

and you say to them, you need to clean your room, and they don't want to do it. And if you get mad,

...