#66: Shitbag (Johnny Pemberton)

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

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4.6 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2012

⏱️ 122 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Johnny Pemberton met me at the Comedy Store and we talked about his horribly sick colon. Most of us take going to the bathroom fof granted. Not Johnny. To him, every dump is a blessing. A smelly, smelly blessing.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to R.I.
0:29.5	Today's episode I talked to my friend and fellow comedian Johnny Pemperton.
0:36.5	He was on Monster Garage on MTV.
0:43.5	He's been in some other stuff. He's a comedian in LA. He's really funny.
0:46.5	He's got a really baby face. He's looking at his 14 years old. He's one of those guys.
0:52.5	He was that guy who used to play for the bulls. There were some duties to play for the bulls.
0:57.5	He got a card at like 33 years old. What was that dude's name?
1:02.5	Who was that? He played like the 90s?
1:07.5	Anyway, whatever. He looks like that. B.J. Armstrong. He was B.J. Armstrong.
1:12.5	That guy, even when he was like 35, I remember him getting carded or something.
1:16.5	In Chicago. He couldn't even stand out in the city he played in.
1:23.5	Pemperton, excuse me, had this crazy inner disease where his colon pretty much shut down.
1:34.5	I'll let him tell you guys himself.
1:39.5	He laughs about it now, which is nice that he didn't really claim pain.
1:44.5	I hate when people take some moment in their life and define themselves through it.
1:52.5	If I don't know, break up, someone dying. That happens a lot when someone you love dies.
2:00.5	A fiance or something. Then 15 years later you're still bitching about the love of my life died.
2:06.5	It's like, you know what? You guys dated for a year and a half. You probably would have gotten divorced.
2:11.5	Just fucking move on from this. It wasn't always great. I saw you guys together.
2:16.5	It wasn't always great. You guys fought a lot and you didn't like him.
2:20.5	And one of you cheated on the other.
2:23.5	Anyway, where was I? I don't know what I was saying.
	...

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