66 - Former Hot Mess
Seltzer Squad - Staying Sober In The City
Kate Zander
4.9 • 778 Ratings
🗓️ 28 February 2020
⏱️ 16 minutes
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Summary
In this episode Kate reads a listener email that really hit home. Does our former hot messness define us? Can we help others when we feel like we can barely help ourselves?
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Salser Squad, the podcast about staying sober in the city with your host, Kate Sander and Jess Valentine. |
| 0:24.5 | What's up? Hello. |
| 0:30.9 | Hey, squad. How are you? Okay. Great. So we got an email and we don't normally do this, but I thought the email was just so good that not only did it have a topic I want to discuss |
| 0:35.7 | with you, but the person who wrote in just says it so well. |
| 0:39.1 | So I'm going to start with digging into, this isn't her entire email, but I think it just says it really well. |
| 0:47.4 | So even though I haven't had to hit a bottom or do anything detrimental to my life, I sometimes get self-conscious about the fact |
| 0:55.5 | that people might think I'm an alcoholic, and I do not identify with this term, or that they will |
| 1:00.5 | treat me differently when they find out I don't drink. I believe this fear is what ultimately kept me |
| 1:05.3 | from giving it up so much sooner in my life. It is definitely part of the reason I haven't told most of the |
| 1:10.4 | people in my life about getting sober this year of the reason I haven't told most of the people in my life |
| 1:11.1 | about getting sober this year. And although I've done shitty things when drinking in the past, |
| 1:16.1 | I hate the thought of people assuming that I may have been a bigger mess than I actually was. |
| 1:21.2 | I have alcoholics in my family who have done things like wrecked cars, go to jail, destroy |
| 1:25.7 | relationships, and it may sound harsh, but I don't |
| 1:27.8 | want people to look at me the same way just because I decided to quit while I was ahead. |
| 1:32.8 | I've been especially self-conscious about coming out as a sober person to my parents because |
| 1:36.9 | they are still heavy drinkers and have always had some sort of all or nothing attitude about it |
| 1:41.5 | in that you're either drink like everyone else or an alcoholic |
| 1:45.4 | and you don't drink at all. I'm wondering how you both work out the past stigma of being a former |
| 1:49.8 | hot mess. I have a small business where I provide family planning and healthy relationship coaching, |
| 1:55.0 | so I feel like I should be good at working through this mental block, but I seem to be stuck in this |
| 1:59.1 | place of shame in my new sobriety. |
... |
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