The Draft cards burning on an open fire.

Protest marching everywhere.

Living costs getting higher and higher.

Air pollution fills the air.

Oh, hello there.

For the 14th time, I almost didn't see or hear you come in.

Welcome once again to the Retronauts Holiday Cabin and parts unknown for yet another annual holiday special.

And this year, I've decided to make things just a bit more festive by taking my collection of factory-sealed retro games,

removing them from their packaging, and turning them into amusing Christmas tree ornaments with nothing but a power drill and a piece of string.

Can you believe stadium events was trapped in that dusty old box for over 30 years?

It's a damn shame.

But unfortunately, this year you're going to have to find some way to entertain yourself

because after 13 years of covering holiday theme video game topics,

the bottom of the barrel has been thoroughly scraped, but good.

So I'm officially out of subject matter

unless I, no, no, listen, podcasting about some bad old video game cartoon I've already covered

is hack and I know it's hack. And besides, what is this? The year 2013? Should I also create a listicle

using nothing but parks and wreck gifts? Listen, for now, let's just quietly sit, stare at the floor, and wait for this whole

wretched ear to blow over.

Oh, God, guess?

And me without a podcast topic.

I guess I better open the door and get this over with.

...