647 - Genital Anesthesia

A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan

Tom Vann & Dan Dennis

Comedy, Improv

4.9 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2021

⏱️ 157 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Oh, how I hate you show notes. I spent the last 3 hours talking and yelling and laughing and having fun, and now you. All of the revelries come to a screeching halt, and now I have to sit here and type out some crap that even our oldest of listeners don't read! I mean, I consume podcasts and I have NEVER gone to the show notes of any show for anything! NEVER! Not once! But if you are here and you love show notes and all that they stand for, thank you. Truly. Now just press play the rest of the world.

On this week's show:

* Sofas and Suds recap

* Getting rid of the birds

* Back that cloaca up

* Circumcision later in life

* Pubinators

* Genital anesthesia

* The Blade of dicks

* Lion Queen at the Bronx Zoo

* Gunther the dog selling Madonna's mansion

* Tourists break into colosseum to drink beer

* Pee pee dogs ruining Dan's carpet

* John Mayer detergent

* Explaining to kids about going to the beach back in the day

* Tom's Lyft driver and the belly dancer video

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Get the Tom & Dan App HERE:

Apple/iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/tom-and-dan-mediocre-app/id395634581

Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tomanddan.mediocreapp&hl=en_US&gl=US

All of our content is hosted on our app and you can even use the “Mediocre Messages” feature to drop voicemails into the show. Or, if you don’t like the smart devices, just call 1844-TOMNDAN. Lucky for you, we’re old school. 😎

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For all audio versions of this garbage, please go HERE:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

Thanks for watching us and we’ll see you again tomorrow on Twitch at 10am-ish.

Like - subscribe - and use the alert thingy. - d

Love you more,

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Well, let's see if Tom's been good this year.
0:03.5	Maybe I can give him a brand new air conditioning system from American air and heat.
0:09.3	Oh, ho, ho.
0:10.2	And I did the nose thing off the side of the nose.
0:13.4	I don't know why Chris Kringle, Santa Claus, no matter what you call him, why does he flick his nose at people?
0:54.6	It'd be hard for Santa to give you a whole new air conditioner system. We have to crawl inside and redo the ducts like American hair. I don't think he could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think he could do it. The elves, though, they do it. That's why he has elves. A lot of people don't know that. Small, they can fit in the attic. Yeah, exactly. But, hey, if you are in the market for a brand-new air conditioning system, now would be the time to do it because American Air and Heat have their winter replacement special going on right now. Yep. Now through December 31st, 10-year part warranty, 10-year labor warranty.
1:00.4	You can get five years of 0% APR financing, so you can pay it off over the next five years. That's the way to do it.
1:01.5	Like, when I did the replacement in my home, before I got the second replacement, I underpowered myself, kind of scammy that the other company, like, was willing to sell me that. I was underpowered. And they would not let me finance it, which is probably not a good sign now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah. My last system was like 2007. And I was like, oh, that's fine. And then I'm like, oh, 2007 of those 15 damn near 15 years ago.
1:27.7	Exactly.
1:29.5	A lot has changed.
1:31.2	Yeah, and they're way more efficient.
1:37.7	I saved an average of around $100 over the summer with my brand new American Air and Heat system.
1:39.5	They redid all my duct work.
1:41.7	I got to return in every single room now.
1:42.7	Works more efficiently.
2:17.5	Give my call because you can save over $2,750 in value right now through December 31st. You do it. With all these rebates. It's not that bad outside right now. And trust me, this is when you want to do it. You don't want to be in a scenario that I was in. I know there have been other BDMs that have been in this scenario. In fact, my daughter's dance studio is currently in this scenario where now the girls are having to go to dance and they're having to wait for a ginormous commercial air conditioning. Well, now would be the time to wait, right? Because it's like not that hot. But imagine doing this in August. Imagine doing this into July. Yeah, yeah. Not good. Not a good scenario.
2:21.4	And if you need any work, just give them a call. It's family-friendly service. That's American
2:26.2	aaronheat.com. You from Kmart Radio, KMRT.
2:38.4	Live from the Streamline Mortgage Solutions Studio, it's Orlando's own Tom and Dan.
2:45.6	Whoopee!
2:49.2	Hello, this is your mediocre time with Tom and Dan program.
2:56.8	We hope that you will find our presentation precise, joke heavy, and just right. Thanks.
	...

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